The Way It Could Have Been
by WillandAliciaFan
Summary: I once heard or read the Kings say that Will and Alicia represented for each other the road not traveled. So that got me thinking, what if that had been more of the focus of the story. AU Willicia starting with Season 1, where the circumstances are slightly different and the characters less flawed.
1. New Beginnings

**A/N: The title pretty much says it. I don't own The Good Wife or the characters.**

* * *

The early morning sun streamed in through the curtains. He watched her sleeping form, the rise and fall of her of her chest as she breathed. She always looked so peaceful as she slept, and she couldn't say a word to him for looking at her and admiring her beauty, unlike when she was awake and caught him staring at her. He never tired of catching glimpses of her throughout the day, whether she noticed or not, or pretended to not notice.

He glanced over at the clock and saw that it was two minutes till the alarm was set to go off.

He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and then whispered in her ear, "Good morning, Mrs. Gardner."

* * *

 **September 2009**

She was running late. Her first day in court in over 13 years - well, first day in court as a lawyer in over 13 years, and she was running late. She'd been back to work for a week. It had been crazy and stressful and difficult and demanding working over 40 hours a week and being a single mom, who was reentering the workforce, but it was also exhilarating to be back in the law that she had so loved throughout law school and her early, but brief, career. She was feeling prepared for court. She had researched well, believed in her client, and had been trying, she felt adequately, to keep any feelings of insecurity at being a forty-year-old, first-year associate at bay.

But now, she was in a rush, which was causing her to feel flustered. It didn't help that the judge assigned to this case was Cuesta, whom she knew wasn't fond of Peter. Well, neither was she for that matter, but it wasn' helping her nerves wondering how he might be biased towards or against her.

She really wanted to win this case. She felt that she needed to. She needed to to feel validated. She needed to feel some sort of satisfaction from winning. She needed to prove to her new boss, her colleagues, to the world that she was worth something, she had value. She doubted that her job would be in jeopardy if she lost the case. Her new boss seemed enamored with her. If she had had choices, she probably wouldn't have accepted Louis Cannings offer of employment. She didn't like him. She didn't have a specific reason not to, just her instincts. But since most law firms viewed her as a liability either because of her name or by the fact that she had been out of work for so long and had a family, she really couldn't be picky. Mr. Canning also had two children, and he seemed to admire and respect her for trying to jump back into her law career, while maintaining that her children were her top priority. That was the truth, they were, and most law firms hadn't been impressed by that. Mr. Canning was, and he had offered her really good working hours, even though she was at the bottom of the totem pole. That was part of what made her uneasy about him. She felt he had ulterior motives, but maybe after all she'd been through with Peter, she just wasn't as trusting as she once was.

She made it to court with a minute or two to spare. She likes to be there at least ten minutes before the case is to be called, so she's not technically late even if she feels like she is. She greets her client and is introduced to opposing counsel, a "real" first-year associate by the name of Cary Agos. He strikes her as arrogant and young. She's not going to let herself feel intimidated.

The case goes well. By the time the judge adjourns, Cary doesn't seem so arrogant. She's not sure if she's winning, but she feels alive - she feels competent for the first time since she found out Peter was a cheat and went to jail. Every headline could just as well have read "Alicia Florrick doesn't measure up and her husband had to go look elsewhere." If it hadn't been for her kids, she wouldn't have held it together. She wouldn't have held her head high. She wouldn't have left the house. But for them, she had stayed strong. They had survived the trial, selling their home and moving to a less expensive apartment, and starting new schools and a new job. It had all been difficult and overwhelming, but now for the first time, she felt in her element. She felt that maybe the difficulties were behind her, and she could start moving forward instead of feeling like she was using all of her energy just to stay in place.

* * *

"Mom's home!" Grace heard the key turn in the door. As soon as she walked in, she was greeted by Zach, Grace, and Owen.

"How was your first day in court," Grace asked. She couldn't get over how encouraging and supportive her kids had been of her going back to work. Maybe starting in a new school themselves, they could identify with her.

"It was great." She smiled and gave each of them a hug.

"You won?" Now it was Zach who was wide-eyed and interested.

"No, but I didn't lose either. It's adjourned till tomorrow. How was school?"

Both of the kids filled her in on their days as they all ate dinner together. Owen had arranged his teaching schedule that he was finished at 3 pm and could be at Alicia's by the time the kids got home from school and stay with them until she got back. Canning had given her a really good working-mom's schedule, but still, he couldn't let her leave at 3, especially since afternoon court sessions could last until 5 or 6. But still, for a first-year associate, being able to be home by 7 at the latest was not something to take for granted as well as her brother's generosity in helping with the kids.

After dinner the kids went to finish up their homework, and Alicia took out a bottle wine. She offered a glass to Owen, but he refused indicating it was time for him to go.

As she walked with him towards the door he said, "So you forgot to tell us the most important part of your court experience?"

"What?" She looked at him quizzically. She wasn't sure what she had left out of the details that weren't in violation of attorney-client privilege.

"Whether or not you met any good-looking lawyers?"

She rolled her eyes. "Owen, I'm not looking. If I decide to start dating, you'll be the first to know."

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, "Not for you, for me. Here I am looking after the kids and cooking dinner. You could at least help me find a man."

She laughed. "I'll try to keep my eyes open for you tomorrow."

"You better. Now, get a good night's sleep so you can kick ass in court tomorrow."

She smiled and hugged him, "I know I keep saying this, but thank you, Owen. I wouldn't be able to do this without your help and encouragement."

"You're welcome, sis."

* * *

It was already dark out - had been dark out for a while already when Diane made her way across the hall to Will's office. He looked up from his paperwork when he heard her come in.

"I see I'm not the only one still here."

"I'm on my way out. What's your schedule for tomorrow?"

He pulled out his phone to check his calendar. "Client meeting at 9 and depos all afternoon."

"Can you be in court at 10:15? I'm pulling Cary of the Adelson case, and I've got a hearing at 9:45, so I'm not going to be able to take it."

"Adelson...I thought that was today?"

"It was, and it's been adjourned till tomorrow."

"So why are you pulling him? It's an open and shut case. No reason a first year can't handle it."

Diane scoffed, "It should have been an open and shut case. Three hours in court today, and it's adjourned for tomorrow. Canning's got a new lawyer, and Cary's apparently no match for her. I haven't had time to look for a replacement, so I was hoping you'd take over."

"Sure, I'll take it." It was an easy case, or at least it should be. He would just need to review the details of what happened in court today. Hopefully Cary's notes and maybe a quick phone call, if needed, would be enough.

She put the Adelson file on his desk. "Great. Have a good night." She raised a brow at him as she walked out, "Don't disappoint me."

He flashed her his infamous boyish grin, "Diane, when do I ever?"

"There's always time for a first. Don't let it be tomorrow." She smiled and waved through the glass wall as she made her way down the hall.

Will put aside what he was working on and opened the Adelson file. It wouldn't be the first time he jumped into a case. He was more than a day or two more experienced than Cary, and no doubt this new lawyer of Canning's. He wasn't too worried, but prepared thoroughly none the less.

* * *

Alicia sat on her bed in her pajamas going over her notes. Court had gone well, but she knew tomorrow was a new day and she'd need to be on top of her game. She wanted to know her argument inside and out and make sure she hadn't looked over any holes in her case that the opposition could pick apart. She was feeling more confident than she had the night before, but she didn't feel invincible; in fact, she still felt vulnerable.

* * *

 **Please take the time to tell me what you think. Thanks for reading...and reviewing.**


	2. Old Friends

He was cutting it close with a client meeting at 9 and court across town at 10:15. Maybe he should have told Diane to look for someone else. He had wanted to end the meeting by 9:45, but the client had come late, and the best he could do was finish up by 9:55. He took a cab to avoid having to look for parking and hopefully save a few minutes, but even still, it was 10:15 as he was walking through the main entrance of the courthouse. Cuesta was usually on time, and Will knew it. He was not going to get off to a good start.

Judge Cuesta was seated behind the bench ready to start.

"Mr. Adelson, where is Mr. - who is it?" He looked down at his notes, "Cary Agos?"

Mr. Adelson wasn't sure what to answer, but as he was about to come up with some sort of a response, the doors at the back of the room opened.

As Will made his way to his place. "Sorry, I'm late, Your Honor. I'm here representing Mr. Adelson today."

"Hello, Mr. Gardner, so good of you to join us. I guess better late than never."

"I guess so, Your Honor."

"And are you ready to proceed?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

Alicia was quite surprised to see Will Gardner sitting across the aisle from her. She hadn't seen him in fifteen years, but hadn't changed much. He looked more mature, that was for sure, especially in his "grown-up" clothes. But he'd always looked good not matter what he wore back in law school, so it really wasn't very surprising that he certainly looked good now. Her musings were cut short by Judge Cuesta.

"Ms. Florrick, ready to proceed?

"Yes, Your Honor."

Will hadn't had a chance to make introductions with opposing counsel, nor had he been informed of her name until Judge Cuesta addressed her. The name clearly rang a bell, and when he now turned and looked for the first time across the aisle, there was no doubt that this was the one and only Alicia Florrick. Of all the people in the world who could have been Canning's newest associate, Will would have never guessed that it was Alicia.

When he had moved to Chicago and discovered that Peter Florrick was in the SA's office (not yet State's Attorney, but an ASA) he had quietly made inquiries about Alicia and discovered that she was not practicing law. He hadn't necessarily expected her to return after Peter's scandal. It seemed ambitious to jump back in after such a long hiatus. But then again, he always knew Alicia to be ambitious, and a good lawyer. She must not have lost her touch after what happened with Cary the day before.

Small talk and catching up would have to wait, There was a case to be fought, and fought it was. They were clearly matched opponents opposing and objecting, catching each other off guard as if one could guess the other's next move. Their confrontation in court was a like well-choreographed chess match between two master players. And although they were adversarial, they each relished the challenge of out thinking the other. They were both transported back in time to late night study sessions and mock trial preps as after fifteen years their rhythm was still in tact. They had been each other's favorite study partner for that very reason. They were each other's best opponent, and when paired together, they had made an amazing team.

There was a weak link in the testimony of one of Will's witnesses. Alicia wiped the floor with that witness on cross. The judge called for a recess and said he would be ready to rule when the court reconvened.

Will walked over to Alicia. "Hey."

"Hey. Since when have you been in Chicago?"

"About five years. You didn't know?"

She suddenly realized that Peter must have known. They had probably had cases against each other. She really wasn't so surprised that Peter never said anything. He clearly never did anything that was contrary to his best interests. "No, I hadn't heard."

"So you're Canning's new associate?"

"I am. And you must be the Gardner in Lockhart/Gardner?"

"I am."

"Name partner. Impressive."

"Yeah, but I have a feeling I just got my butt kicked by a first-year."

"The judge hasn't ruled yet."

"No, but as much as I hate to admit defeat, you won this one."

She wasn't as optimistic as Will seemed to be. She was over analyzing her performance in court and felt she had made one too many errors. Will was good. He always had been. Sure, she'd beaten him before, but it was never an easy win. "I guess we'll have to wait and find out."

Will laughed.

"What?"

"You haven't changed since law school."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You never knew how good you were and were always doubting yourself."

She raised an eyebrow, "And you were always cocky and arrogant."

"So I guess I haven't changed either."

They both laughed.

Will's phone beeped. He saw an incoming call from Diane.

"I've gotta take this. It was nice seeing you."

"Sure. It was nice seeing you, too."

* * *

Alicia did in fact win the case, and as much as Will hated to lose, the look of happiness on Alicia's face was worth it. He never had hated losing to her the way he hated losing to anyone else.

He congratulated her on his way out and handed her his card. "Maybe we could catch up sometime outside of court?"

"Sure, that would be nice." She handed him her card as well.

* * *

He spent the afternoon doing depositions and it was evening time when Diane found him in his office with his feet up on the desk, chair leaned back, tossing his baseball his mind on Alicia.

"So we lost the Adelson case?"

"That we did."

"And you're the one who said this was such an easy case."

"We had a weak witness and the opposition tore him apart on the stand."

"So was it a case of a bad witness or a good lawyer?"

"Both."

"You're in a good mood considering you lost a case."

"I guess I am."

"Do you care to share? Did we sign a new client? Because Adelson's not so happy with our firm right now. It's not going to be good if we lose him."

Will knew he should care about potentially losing Adelson, but he just didn't.

"No new clients, but I did run into an old friend from law school that I hadn't seen in fifteen years. I guess I'm just caught up reliving old memories."

"Well, don't let nostalgia keep you too distracted. We can't afford to keep losing cases."

Diane couldn't help but wonder what sort of "friend" it was that he had run into that he wasn't bothered by a loss in court, to a first-year no less.

"So Canning must have one hot-shot new associate."

"You could say that. If I would have known who it was, I would have prepared better. It always was a challenge to argue with her."

"You've argued against her before?"

"We went to law school together."

"She went to law school with you, and she's a first-year?"

"Yeah, she got married pretty soon after law school, and after she started having kids, she became a stay-at-home mom. (He wondered how much of that was her decision and how much of it was Peter's.) But being out of the law for - actually, I don't know how long, but it must be at least ten years, I guess, she's starting back at the bottom of the totem-pole."

"Well, if she's that good, she won't stay down at the bottom for long."

"No, probably not."

Diane wished Will a good night, and on her way out she wondered if this _friend_ from law school had been more than just a friend. Will had dated quite a number of women in the time that Diane had known him, and she assumed he had dated even more before that, but this was the first time she had ever seen him look like a man in love.

* * *

Owen and the kids had made a cake in honor of Alicia's first court win on her first court case, no less. After dinner and cake, Alicia and Owen were once again in the kitchen with a bottle of wine. Owen agreed to one glass this time.

"So let's move on to important stuff. Did you find any good-looking lawyers today?"

Alicia thought for a minute about Will. He definitely fell in the category of good-looking. That certainly hadn't changed since college. "Yes, but I don't think he's interested in men." She walked past him and headed for the sofa.

Owen followed and sat beside her. "And how do you know that? You know, your gaydar has never been good."

"We were friends in law school. He's not gay."

Owen was intrigued and was not ready to let this go. His sister rarely ever told him any details about law school back in the day. All he knew as that she studied a lot, typical, and there was some guy she had nicknamed Mr. Georgetown in her letters. Owen never met Mr. Georgetown, but he never could figure out how his sister ended up with Peter Florrick if Mr. Georgetown was, in fact, a real person and not some sleep-deprived-figment of her imagination. "What makes you so sure he's not? And I thought you didn't have any friends in law school? The only person you ever talked about other than Peter (he made a face) was Mr. Georgetown."

Alicia looked a little bit stunned by that reference. Leave it to Owen to remember something like that.

He caught that look on her face, "Wait, Mr. Good-looking-lawyer-who-isn't-gay isn't Mr. Georgetown is he?"

Alicia was trying to play it cool. "He is. Apparently he moved to Chicago about five years ago, and he has his own firm."

"You know that's so like you. I ask you to find a guy for me, and you find one for yourself."

"I did not find a guy for myself."

"Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself? You want him."

Alicia was getting defensive, and Owen could always see right through her. "I do not."

"Oh, yes, you do. I don't know who you think you're fooling, but you're not fooling me."

"Owen, I'm married."

"To a cheat who's in prison. Which begs the question why you haven't divorced him yet?"

"Owen, it's complicated."

"No, it's not. You go to a lawyer, have him write up papers, have the papers delivered to Peter, and he signs them. It's simple. You're just have some overdeveloped sense of commitment and an inability to kick someone, while they're down that you're keeping yourself chained to that no-good _husband_ of yours."

She knew Owen was right. She knew she had no future with Peter. She didn't want one either. But she didn't know how to just throw away their marriage and end their family. She knew that Peter was the one to ruin everything with the choices he made, but she still somehow felt that if she initiated divorce, she was the guilty party - she would be the one to end their family. She knew she wasn't her mother. She knew that if she divorced Peter, it wasn't the same as when her mother had divorced her father. But she still remembered the hurt she felt when her parents split and she didn't know how to do that to her kids. Having their father sent to prison made her instincts to protect them from pain even stronger. Plus, she had been so busy fighting to survive though the last six months, she still hadn't dealt with the emotional side of everything that had happened. That was mountain she still had yet to climb.

Owen noticed that she was quiet. He started to think he'd said too much. Well, not really, but he didn't want to upset his sister, especially on the day of her big win - big win against Mr. Georgetown. He knew when to push his sister and when to let up.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I just want what's best for you." He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I know."


	3. Reconnecting

Two weeks later Alicia was back in court. This time for a criminal case. By the time they recessed for lunch, she was feeling down. So far Geneva was a formidable opponent, and the SA's office had a strong case against Alicia's client. But Alicia really believed her client was innocent. She couldn't bear the thought that this woman might be convicted for something she didn't do. Alicia decided to skip lunch and just go to the coffee shop across the street from the courthouse. She'd get coffee and a danish and work at trying to figure out a new angle to her client's defense or a hole in the prosecution's case.

After she ordered, she found a quiet table in the back corner, set an alarm on her phone, and got to work. She was so engrossed in her notes that she paid no attention to who was coming or going or what was going on around her.

Will was also at court that day and stopped into the coffee shop on his way back to the firm. He was going to get his coffee to go, but he spotted Alicia in the back and took a seat at the table next to hers. She seemed frustrated. He remembered her being like that when studying for an exam or preparing for a mock trial and not being able to find the information she needed.

"Court not going well?"

She looked up surprised by the company and the comment. "What?" She involuntarily smiled when she saw him.

"I asked if court was not going well."

"No, it's not."

"Civil or criminal?"

"Criminal."

"Want some help?"

"We work for different firms."

"But this case is against the SA's office, so there's no conflict of interest."

She began telling Will about her case and Geneva's agruements, and the corner she found herself backed into.

Will offered some very helpful insights to the case. He also offered some insights about arguing against Geneva. He also offered her some insights about herself. "You care too much."

"What?"

"You care too much. It's a liability as a defense attorney. You have to detach emotionally from your clients."

"So I shouldn't care if an innocent woman goes to prison?"

"I didn't say it wasn't right to care or that you shouldn't, but it's a professional liability. Sometimes you'll have innocent clients that go to prison, and sometimes you'll be representing clients who are guilty as hell and have to zealously defend them. You can't let your emotions get in the way."

She was pondering his thoughts when an odd man made his way over.

"Well, Mr. Gardner, taking a coffee break when you should be working on my defense?"

"Mr. Sweeney, don't worry, I'm not billing you for my time here, and if you would stop getting caught in incriminating circumstances, there would be no need to work on your defense."

"Well, incriminating circumstances seem to find me."

"That they do."

"Well, are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

He turned towards Alicia and gestured towards Sweeney, "This is my client, Colin Sweeney." He then turned to Sweeney and gestured towards Alicia, "And this is an old friends, Alicia Florrick."

Mr. Sweeney thought for a moment before recognition clicked. "Alicia Florrick as in wife of the former State's Attorney, Peter Florrick?"

That was a title that used to bring her pride. Now, she could barely stomach hearing herself referred to as Peter Florrick's wife. She put on her dealing-with-the-public face and responded, "Yes."

There was nothing that interested Colin Sweeney more than a sex scandal, but Alicia was saved by the bell, literally. The alarm on her phone indicated it was time for her to return to court.

"Well, Mr. Sweeney, it was nice meeting you. I have to be getting back to court, now." She gathered her things and got up to leave.

"Will, thank you for your help."

"You're welcome." She started walking towards the door and he called after her, "Let me know how it goes."

She turned back around to face him, "Okay, I will." She smiled again before turning and walking out.

By the end of the week, the trial had ended and Alicia's client was cleared of all charges. She texted Will right after court ended Friday before heading back to the office.

Will had been in a meeting at the time and hadn't gotten the message right away. When he did get the message later in the afternoon, he texted her back. His first reply was immediate, but after thinking and rethinking a few times, he sent an additional message not long after the first.

Alicia was finishing up her paperwork for the day when her phone beeped. A smile formed on her lips when she saw the name Will Gardner as the name of the sender. "Congratulations on your first win against the SA's office." She then noticed that there was a second message, also from Will, "We said we would catch up sometime outside of court. I was thinking we could go to dinner tonight, in honor of your win."

She wanted to say yes, but she had promised the kids a movie night. They got to pick whatever movies they wanted (with age-appropriate ratings) and they'd order pizza and make popcorn. She didn't want to back out on her kids. She started to text him back when she decided to call instead. By the fourth ring she was expecting to get his voicemail when he answered.

"Hi."

"Hi. I got your message."

"But" -

"What makes you think there's a but?"

"I heard it coming. Maybe some other time."

"Hey, hold on there Mr. Mind-reader-who's-got-it-wrong."

"Is that so."

"It is. I was going to say that I can't go out, but that you're invited to join the Florrick Family Movie Night. I can't promise the movies will be any good, the kids get to pick, but there will be pizza and popcorn, which usually are good - most of the time."

Will thought for a moment. He hadn't actually thought of his asking her to dinner as an actual date. He didn't even know what the status was of her relationship with Peter, but he wasn't expecting to hang out with her kids. Kids were uncharted territory for him. "I don't want to intrude."

"You're not intruding." She meant it. She was surprised by how much she wanted to spend time with him, just not at the expense of her children. "It will be like movie nights in law school."

"In law school we had beer."

"So bring beer."

Maybe participating in Florrick Family Movie Night would be better than a night home alone or with any of the women from his little black book that might be available short notice. None of those women even interested him anymore anyway since he'd seen Alicia a few weeks ago.

"What time?"

"Seven, or whenever you can make it."

"I can do seven."

She ended the call with a big, goofy grin. Anyone who would have seen her would have mistaken her for a happy woman, and maybe for the moment, she was happy.

Will left the office a little earlier than usual for a Friday and took a six back from his office mini-fridge before he headed over to Alicia's. A family movie night was not the way he usually spent his Friday nights, but he actually found himself looking forward, even if the movies weren't good, or the popcorn and pizza for that matter.

* * *

Alicia got home around 6. Owen was there. "I took the kids to the video store, and I didn't let them get any R-rated movies."

"Thank you, Owen."

"I just ordered the pizza. It should be here in an hour, and we already started on the popcorn."

"Great. How many pizzas did you order?"

"Two."

"Can you call back and add a third one?" After a second though, "Actually, two more." She'd rather have too much than two little. She didn't know if Will still ate (well, devoured food, especially, pizza) like he did fifteen years ago.

"Sure, but why do you want so much pizza? We don't each need our own."

"Well, there'll be five of us, and I just want to make sure there's enough. And it never hurts to have leftover cold pizza for breakfast Saturday morning."

Owen noticed how she mentioned five and then tried to camouflage it by segwaying into the bit about leftovers for breakfast. He was not distracted. "So who else is coming over?" He was dialing the number for the pizza place.

"An old friend."

Owen gave her a knowing smile, "Mr. Georgetown?"

She gave him the Alicia stare. "His name is Will, and don't you dare embarrass me by mentioning that name."

He added two pizzas to the order and put the phone down. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you're my little brother and you've been embarrassing me on purpose for as long as I can remember."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"You can stay as long as you behave yourself."

"I'll try. Scout's honor and all that."

"You were never a boy scout."

"Well, it just sounded good."

She threw a few pieces of popcorn at him. "Hey." he faked being hurt.

The kids walked in the kitchen. "Hey, you two better watch it, or we might need to put you time out," Zach.

Owen and Alicia both turned to them. "Ha, ha, very funny."

"Hey, if you caught the two of us throwing popcorn at each other, you would not think it was okay," Grace.

"Oh, yeah?" She eyed Owen and then threw a fist full of popcorn at the kids. Owen quickly put an end to the popcorn fight after a few fist fulls had been thrown each way. "Hey, hey. I worked too hard popping all that for it to end up all over the floor. And how would we explain the mess to our guest?" He eyed Alicia, who suddenly became a bit self-conscious as her kids' attention shifted.

"What guest?" Zach asked.

Alicia got the broom and started sweeping, while Zach and Grace picked up popcorn off the chairs and counters. "I just discovered a few weeks ago that an old friend from college has been in Chicago the past few years, and I didn't know. We hadn't seen each other since graduation, and wanted to catch up."

"So what's her name?" Grace was intrigued to meet one of her mother's friends.

" _His_ name is Will - Will Gardner. He has his own law firm. We've run into each other a few times at court, but we really haven't had a chance to talk much."

"Was he a friend or a boyfriend?" Grace asked a question Alicia had hoped to avoid.

Alicia was sailing into uncharted territory. Owen was smirking, clearly enjoying this a little too much. She gave him a look that meant he better not add to or contradict anything she was going to say. "We were friends." She said it matter-of-fact and seemed to convince Grace there wasn't anything else to the story.

How could she explain her relationship with Will to her kids, if she couldn't even explain it to herself? Even back in law school she didn't know what they were at the time. She didn't know what they were then, and she didn't exactly know what they were now either.


	4. Carpe Diem

After they cleaned up the popcorn, Alicia excused herself to her room to change out of her court clothes. She glanced at the clock and figured she had time for a quick shower. Grace continued to pop popcorn while Zack and Owen played cards.

When Will left his office, he took a six pack from his office mini-fridge to avoid having to make any stops on the way. He wasn't exactly sure what he had gotten himself into. He hadn't done any family nights since high school, maybe college on school breaks. And he certainly was not used to being around kids. He suddenly felt old and really, really not cool as he realized he knew absolutely nothing about teenagers were into these days. He started to second guess his agreeing to join and was thinking about calling to cancel when he got an idea. He just needed to make one quick stop on his way...

* * *

There was a knock on the door.

"Pizza's here." Grace called out.

"I'll get it," Owen offered.

Will's nerves had calmed down by the time he got to Alicia's apartment. It wasn't his normal version of a normal Friday night, but it was a normal thing to do, for a family, he supposed, to watch movies together on a Friday night. He also supposed it was normal for friends to be invited. Nothing to get nervous about. He would just be normal. Everything would be normal. Her kids couldn't be _that_ intimidating. He shouldn't be so worried about making a good impression. He convinced himself he was being silly and to just knock on the door already.

He heard footsteps approaching the door from the other side. He was definitely surprised to see a thirty-something-year-old man open the door.

"Sorry. I must have the wrong address." He looked from the man to the number on the door.

Owen noticed the lack of pizza boxes and realized this rather good-looking-yet-confused man must be Will.

"You're Alicia's friend?"

"Yeah." He was feeling unsure about this whole thing. He hadn't expected Alicia would have invited other men.

"Come in. I'm her brother Owen." Will sighed an inward sigh of relief. He was still feeling a bit awkward. She hadn't mentioned her brother would be there too.

"Zack, Grace, your mom's friend's here."

Zack waved from the other room, and Grace waved from the kitchen.

Owen had noticed Will was holding a six-pack and a few grocery bags. "Do want me to put that in the fridge?"

Will handed Owen the six pack. "Sure. Thanks." He followed Owen into the kitchen.

As Alicia was getting dressed, she heard voices from the other room and realized Will had arrived. She glanced at the clock and realized she had taken longer than she planned. She hurried out into the kitchen in a pair of faded jeans and a Georgetown sweatshirt. She looked more like the Alicia he remembered from their school days now than she did in her court clothes. He felt a bit taken by surprise; although, it totally made sense that she would be dressed more casually in her own home on a Friday night than the other times he'd run into her. But as soon as he saw her, his nervousness faded away, and he just felt completely comfortable. Everything felt - normal.

"Hey, I see you've met everyone."

"Yeah." He remembered the bags in his hands and placed them on the counter. "I hope you don't mind, but I picked up some ice cream on the way over."

"I don't think anyone will mind ice cream, but that looks like more than just a container of ice cream." She raised a skeptical brow...

"Well, since I didn't know what flavors your kids liked, I got a variety." He began taking out the cartons and placing them on the counter. "Chunky Monkey, Cherry Garcia, Chocolate Brownie, Chubby Hubby, and last, but not least, for you, Mint Chocolate Cookie." He specifically handed the last carton to Alicia. "I wasn't sure if it was still your favorite."

She was touched and surprised that he remembered. "It is, thank you." She smiled softly as he handed it to her, memories if Mint Chocolate Cookie and study sessions with Will flooding her mind.

* * *

 _ **Georgetown - Fall 1991 - First Semester of Law School**_

 _They were supposed to have started working already. Will was twenty minutes late. Alicia was reviewing her notes alone and was growing increasingly annoyed that Will wasn't there. She had called his apartment ten minutes ago, no answer. Even if he had just left right before she called, it didn't take more than ten minutes to get from his apartment to hers. Had he forgotten? She really did not need to be paired for this assignment with someone who was not responsible; even if he had given some brilliant answers in class over the past few weeks and was incredibly good looking._

 _Two minutes later there was a knock at the door._

 _"Sorry I'm late."_

 _She let him in. "It's okay." It really wasn't because they planned on 2 o'clock, and 2 o'clock means 2 o'clock, not 2:22, but she didn't really know him well enough to lecture him on punctuality._

 _"I figured this would take a while, so I decided to stop at the store to pick up some snacks." He indicated to the grocery bags in his hands. "I was standing in the checkout line for close to a half hour." He had put his books and the bags down on the table. "Oh, this needs to go in the freezer." He took a container of ice cream out of the bag. She took it and went to put it in the freezer. "Mint Chocolate Cookie?" she read the label._

 _"It's Ben & Jerry's newest flavor. Thought I'd be adventurous and try something new." She thought she might be adventurous and try something new too, ice cream before homework. It did look good. Cookies and Creme and Mint Chocolate Chip were her favorite flavors, and this seemed to be a combination of the two. "Wanna try it now?"_

* * *

Meanwhile, the bell had rung again, and this time it was the pizza. Owen walked back in the kitchen and put the boxes down on the counter. "So I guess Movie Night can officially begin."

Owen opened the first box and started distributing the pizza, while Alicia snapped herself from her thoughts and put the ice cream in the freezer.

Everyone made their way to the family room. Owen, Alicia, and the kids all sat on the sofa and Will took the chair off to the side. There was a second pizza on the coffee table as well as a big bowl of popcorn and a few drinks to get everyone through the first movie.

As they sat down Alicia asked, "So what's tonight's theme?"

"Theme?" Will asked.

"Yes." Owen rolled his eyes. "All Florrick Family Movie Nights have a theme."

The kids took over. "The movies have to have some sort of common denominator." "And popcorn and pizza both start with P."

Will smiled thinking that was so Alicia. Throughout their days in law school she had always been super organized; themes, color-coding, plans...

"Anyway, tonight's theme is Robin Williams."

"We've got _Dead Poet's Society_."

"Because Grace has a thing for Knox Overstreet," teased Zach. Grace rolled her eyes.

"Hey, he is a good-looking guy," Owen added in her defense.

"And _The Birdcage_ because Mom thinks Christine Baranski and Nathan Lane are awesome."

The evening flowed comfortably. As much as Will enjoyed sitting at home watching a game, there was something subtly more appealing about the idea of sitting at home with a family. At some point in the past year, he had begun to second guess his choices in life. In his twenties and even thirties, the only thing he was focused on was his career. He had made it his life. Then as he approached forty, he all of a sudden started noticing how men his age had families; wives and children to go home to. Their kids were teenagers already, like Alicia's, and he felt sort of like it was too late to get started, like he'd missed the boat by not being more interested in marriage and building a family when he was younger.

He pondered how Peter could have done what he had. The media had been very unfavorable towards Alicia following the news of Peter's infidelity accusing her of being frigid. He had found those accusations hard to believe, and seeing her here in her home with her kids, he just couldn't imagine Peter was forced to find affection elsewhere. Will had had his fair share of empty meaningless sex, but if you asked him to chose between a roll in the sack with a perky young blonde like Amber Madison or having a wife and kids like this to come home to everyday, he realized, he'd rather have this.

* * *

She had invited Will on a whim. She wasn't one to do things on a whim, and she had second-guessed herself repeatedly, but once he had gotten there, everything had just felt so natural, as if it were a normal occurrence that he would join them for dinner and a movie. Everything had always been easy and comfortable with Will. It was strange how you could not see someone for fifteen years and everything just falls into place as if you last saw each other the day before.

She was glad he had come. She hadn't known that Owen would stay. The kids had been asking to do a movie night like they used to, and she had been putting it off and had finally agreed. Having Will and Owen there helped distract her from the fact that _he_ wasn't there. The fact that even before he was arrested there were many Friday nights that _he wasn't_ there. Only now, she had more of an idea where he had really been, or rather, what he had really been doing. She tried to avoid _those_ thoughts; they hurt too much. It was easier to loose herself in court cases or in watching movies or in anything that would keep her busy and/or distracted from thinking _those_ thoughts. It wasn't until the still of the night, when she would sit in her room alone after the kids had gone to bed that she would be forced to battle those thoughts until sleep took over. If she didn't keep busy and distracted, she was sure _those_ thoughts and feelings would drown her.

* * *

They had started with _The Birdcage_ , after which Owen had left, and were now part way into _Dead Poet's Society_. With Owen's spot vacant, Will had joined Alicia and the kids on the sofa.

 _"Hey, Mr. Gardner, now that Uncle Owen left there's room for you on the sofa." The kids had taken to him rather quickly. The abundance of ice cream had helped him make a good impression and the small bits of conversation here and there had flowed easily._

 _He felt a bit uncomfortable, as if he was intruding on their family space. "I'm fine here."_

 _"But you can see better from the sofa," Grace argued. "Zack, scoot over."_

 _"I think she's going to be a lawyer some day too," Zack commented as he scooted over towards Alicia, who scooted a drop closer to Grace as she added, "Will, there's plenty of space for four, and Grace is right, you'll have a better view."_

So now he was sitting on the end next to Zach, with Alicia between the two kids as he felt himself identify with Knox Overstreet in a way he never had before. He wondered if Knox really knew what it was like to pine over a girl that belonged to someone else; not a guy she was going steady with, but a man she was married to. And just like Chet Danburry didn't seem to deserve a girl like Kris, Peter sure as hell didn't deserve Alicia. He silently cheered Knox on in his pursuit of Kris. He thought back to how many missed chances he had had to 'seize the day' with Alicia. If he had the chance again, he wouldn't mess it up next time.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading, and as always, reviews are very much welcomed.**

 **Just for reference:** **Mint Chocolate Cookie was first introduced sometime in 1991 and would have been new at the time of the Georgetown flashback. Knox Overstreet, one of the characters in Dead Poet's Society, was played by Josh Charles.**


	5. Comfort and Hurt

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who took the time to review. It's most appreciated.**

 **This chapter picks up a few weeks after the last chapter ended in early November.**

* * *

As she got in the car, she slammed the door with more force than necessary. She put her head back and stared out at the evening sky through the windshield. It wasn't so late, but it was already getting dark now that the clocks had changed. She didn't want to go home. She was too - she didn't even know what she was, couldn't come up with the right word: indignant, angry, confused...whatever it was, she didn't want to see Owen and the kids, not right now, not while her emotions were so blurred and she felt at such a loss to control them. That bothered her too. She had ripped into opposing counsel in court this afternoon. And depending on who that had been, she might not have felt so bad, but it had been a case against Will and so, she did feel bad. She had no qualms about defending her client, even against opposing lawyers, whom she considered friends, but she'd had an edge to her today that Will certainly hadn't deserved from her. So she could add guilt to her list of emotions vying for control of her.

Since she desperately wanted a drink, a strong one at that, she decided to head for the nearest bar. It was still early enough that Owen wouldn't wonder if she weren't back for another hour or two. She generally didn't even notify him unless she'd be past 7:30 or 8.

She sat at a booth in the back. It offered more privacy and seclusion. Although she partially wanted a shot of something strong, she indulged herself with a bottle of good red wine. On her more or less empty stomach, it would still kick in rather quickly and she would enjoy it better than liquor.

She was lost in a mixture of self pity and righteous indignation when she heard a familiar voice, "Is this seat taken?"

The small upturn of the sides of her mouth whenever he appeared was so subconscious that she never even really noticed it, and although it was there, so was the sense of embarrassment recalling how she had treated him in court earlier.

"Hi," she offered a bit more shyly than usual.

"Hey," he responded as he slid into the seat across from her. She hadn't bit his head off, yet, so far so good. He really wanted to know what was up, but he didn't want to trigger an onslaught, but before he could formulate where to begin, she cut him off mid-thought.

"I"m sorry about before...in court." She was monotone, and not because she wasn't sincere, but because her anger was melting into melancholy. "It wasn't really fair for me to take out my aggression on you." She downed the rest of her glass.

He recognized the sadness in her eyes. He'd seen that look before. "So do you want to talk about what caused you to use me as your emotional punching bag." That description almost got a laugh at of her, but for now it was just a meek smile.

* * *

 _ **Georgetown - 2nd year ('92/'93)**_

 _They had been studying for an exam in Constitutional Law for the past hour, and her head was just not in it. That was very unlike Alicia, and Will knew it. He'd asked her a few times if she was okay, and anyone else might have bought her reply that she was fine, but he knew she wasn't. Even though she was pretty good at playing a poker face, he could always read her eyes, and her eyes never lied._

 _He put his book down, and leaned across the coffee table and took hers from her hand as well._

" _We're not studying until you tell me what's bothering you."_

" _Will, I'm fine. Really." She tried to pick up book back up, avoiding eye contact, but Will put his hand on it holding it down."_

" _I know you said you're fine, but you're not fine." She looked towards him to contradict, but when their eyes met, she knew there was no getting out of this. She knew that besides the fact she couldn't resist 'that look' that she couldn't lie while looking him in the eye. And knowing that Will hadn't been fond of Dave, didn't make her any less reticent to reveal that he'd broken up with her shortly before their study date began._

 _With a roll of the eyes, she looked away and admitted, "Dave and I broke up." She looked back at him, and he could see there was more to the story. "And…" She really couldn't hide anything from him. "He dumped me, okay?" She tried to hold back a tear as she gave an exasperated sigh while reaching for her notes. "Can we continue now?"_

" _Not so fast." He collected the books, notebooks, and flash cards and put them off to the side amidst her silent protest. He went to the kitchen and came back with a container of Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie and handed it to her with a spoon._

" _How is it that you always seem to have a container of this?"_

" _Coincidence." He shrugs nonchalantly. (He always - ALWAYS - keeps one container of her favorite in his freezer just in case she might want ice cream, which happens often enough that she's starting to suspect he purposely keeps a stock of it just for her.)_

 _She reaches for her books when he blocks her. "Will, I can study and eat ice cream at the same time."_

" _I'm sure you can, but right now, you're not." He had gotten up and walked towards the television. "You're going to eat ice cream and watch movies. Ah, here it is. When my sister came to visit, she left Thelma & Louise."_

 _He stuck it in the VCR and came to sit next to her on the he sofa after having found another container (of half-eaten, bcse that's all he had) ice cream for himself._

 _As much as she wanted to insist they study, she had to admit, this was exactly what she was in the mood for, so she gave in._

 _About halfway through the movie the ice cream was finished and she had leaned her head on his shoulder (which he did NOT mind at all). "He slept with Chrissy Johnson."_

" _What?" He was confused by the non sequitur._

" _Dave. He dumped me for Chrissy Johnson."_

 _He was fuming. He never really liked Dave, so it wasn't so hard to hate him, which he now most certainly did. But that the guy clearly didn't appreciate how special Alicia was and that he would even consider hurting her. That took his dislike to a whole new level. If the guy were here, he would for sure have difficulty restraining the urge to punch him._

" _You want me to beat him up?" He offered half joking, half serious._

 _She smiled at the thought, which was tempting, "No. The ice cream and movie are good."_

" _Because I could beat him up if you want?" He was sort of hoping she'd say yes._

" _He's not worth it."_

 _Will's thoughts to himself, "You could say that again."_

 _When the movie was over he took their books out. "Ready to study?"_

" _Yeah. Thank you."_

 _He shrugged it off as no big deal. "I grew up with two sisters. That's what they always did." He thought for a moment, "They never let me beat up the guy either, even when I begged."_

 _That got him a laugh out of her, a small one, but a laugh nonetheless_

* * *

Something about that look of sincerity in his eyes made her feel comfortable. Made her feel safe to reveal what was going on in her head and in her heart. She'd always been able to talk to him, at least when the topic wasn't _about him._ "I went to see Peter this morning." She poured another cup of wine. She felt the need to drink surging as she began to recount the day's events. "He's bringing his case for appeal."

"Is that good or bad?"

"I - that's the problem. I don't know." She frowned as she stared at the Cabernet. "I - I mean - the kids - they would be thrilled if he were back home."

He gathered from her tone that she wouldn't be. "And you?"

"I wasn't expecting to have to deal with the prospect of him getting out of prison so soon."

"How soon?"

"I don't know. Sooner than the full ten years." She took another sip of her wine, while he nursed a scotch on the rocks. "He wants me to testify, to help him with his appeal. And he thinks once he's out, everything will be back to normal. He actually said that, things will go back to normal as if none of this ever happened." The anger was starting to surface again _._

"And what about you? What do you want?"

"I" - she looked at him, really looked at him. An answer floated to the surface of her mind, but she blamed it on the alcohol and she still had enough sobriety to censor herself.

"Do you love him?" As much as he hated the possibility of hearing her say yes, as always, he was concerned with what she wanted, what she felt, what she needed.

"I don't know." She admitted defeatedly. Then she started rambling, "How do you just throw away fifteen years of marriage? How do you just decide to end your family? How do you forgive your husband for banging hookers for months, sometimes two at a time?" She'd said more than she meant to. She was starting to feel too open. She got more quiet. "I don't know how to go back to normal. I don't know if I can or if I want to."

"So don't." He was trying to be honest with himself that he was keeping all self-interest out of this.

"What about the kids. He's still their father."

"And he can be their father, even if you're not his wife."

She started to respond, but then stopped. She slumped in her seat leaning back with her glass in hand staring down at its contents as if it were a crystal ball that would magically provide answers to solve all of her problems.

"You're not your mother."

She looked up, caught off guard. "I know, but - "

"No, you don't know. You blame her for breaking up your family, but in this case, Peter's the one who threw fifteen years of marriage and his family under the bus because he couldn't keep his pants zipped. You don't owe him any more forgiveness than you're willing to give, and you're not obligated to forgive him at all if you don't want to. Just because he's their father, doesn't mean you have to welcome him back into your home if you don't want to. If you're worried about your kids' holding a grudge against you, like you do your mother, get any thought of that out of your head right now. Your kids are smart enough and mature enough to understand that what their father did was a deal breaker to your marriage." He paused to let what he'd said so far sink in before continuing, "And if you let him back into your home, what message are you sending your kids about fidelity and the consequences of the lack thereof?"

That last line really got her. He was right. She knew he was right. Looking him in the eye, she had no defense, no response, and yet she wasn't quite ready to admit to herself, let alone out loud, that her marriage was over, that so much of her world, her self-worth, was crushed. Those feelings of self-doubt and rejection, feeling that she hadn't been enough for him, feeling defective, those were things that she kept buried deep within herself and wasn't ready to crack open that Pandora's box, definitely not right now.

"Mom, pick up the phone. Mom, pick up the phone. Mom, pick up the phone." She took out her phone and silenced it.

"That's Grace."

"Out past your curfew?" He smiled as he finished off his scotch.

She laughed, the first time all day. "Yeah," looking at her watch, "something like that."

He put down a wad of bills on the table "I've got this." She was about to protest, but she recognized the look in his eyes that there would be no point, "Thanks."

She stumbled a bit as she got up and got her coat. "You're not driving are you?"

She realized the room was spinning a bit more than it should, "I guess not."

He went outside with her and made sure she was safely in a cab before leaving.

She kept thinking about what Will had said on the ride home, but her head was pounding. That's what she gets for almost polishing off an entire bottle of wine on an empty stomach.

When she got home, she feigned that she was under the weather and went to bed. Owen was a bit suspicious, but she really didn't look good, so the kids bought it. They offered to bring her tea or soup, but she said she just wanted to sleep and hoped that she'd feel better by the morning.

Once she closed the door behind her, she kicked off her heals, took off her coat and climbed in under the covers. It wasn't even 8 o'clock yet. About two hours later she got up because she needed the bathroom. She changed into pajamas and went to the kitchen for a drink of water, and she was feeling hungry. Assuming everyone was likely asleep by then, she figured she'd have the quiet and privacy she craved even outside of the safe confines of her room.

She stood leaning against the counter drinking her water when Grace quietly entered the kitchen. Alicia hadn't noticed her coming until she turned and saw her, causing her to jump.

"I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay. I didn't realize you were still up."

"I heard you in here." She handed her mom an envelope. "When Uncle Owen left, we found this by the door. but we didn't know if we should wake you." Alicia opened the envelope and began to read as Grace went to the freezer.

"Instead of drinking, stick with ice cream and Thelma & Louise. You'll avoid the hangover." She smiled and looked up to see Grace handing her a container of Mint Chocolate Cookie. "This was with the note."

* * *

 **Thank you for reading. Reviews are always appreciated.**

 **Just as a reference, for the purposes of this story, Will and Alicia started law school in the fall of 1991 and graduated in the spring of 1994. Thelma & Louise came out in May of 1991 and was directed by Ridley Scott, who was one of the executive producers of TGW.**


	6. Irony

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I've had the story planned out in my mind for months. I just have little to no time to write it out.**

 **This chapter jumps ahead a few months of where the last chapter left off. It's short, but I don't when I'll next have the time, so I thought a short update sooner would be better than a longer update who-knows-when.**

* * *

 ** _Spring 2010_**

Will and Alicia were sitting together in her living room, notes and files spread out over the sofa and coffee table. Their respective firms were on a case together representing co-plaintiffs. It had been a strategic decision that by combining the two law suits into one, they had a stronger case and better chance of winning. It was only natural that Diane and Canning would decide to put Will and Alicia on the case together, since they were the only two lawyers from the opposing firms that had any connection with each other that would allow for them to be able to work together as an effective team.

When they didn't have cases against each other, they rarely spoke except for the occasional passing each other in the halls of the courthouse or by chance one had a deposition at the other's firm for a case represented by a different lawyer. Between work, the kids, and Peter's appeal, Alicia didn't really have much free time for socializing. And Will, he crammed in the billable hours as always. He had his Wednesday night basketball games and had dated a bit, but his heart hadn't been in that.

They had each greatly appreciated the opportunity to work together as opposed to being on opposite sides, a situation they hadn't been in since law school.

Between their different schedules and the fact they worked out of different firms, it had been hard to get together during regular work hours to compare notes and go over strategy. Late night meetings, which would have been the norm weren't an option for Alicia, so that's how they found themselves the Sunday before they were to go to court sitting in her living room preparing for Monday. They had both put in significant hours over the previous weeks and had had many phone calls and email exchanges, but that hadn't quite been sufficient or the same as actually sitting together.

"Is your mom dating that guy?"

"What?"

Grace and her friend Julia were in her room, supposedly studying for a U.S. history test that was the next day, but spending more time listening to music, surfing social media, and gossiping than studying.

Grace shifted her attention from the Facebook post she was reading to her friend who had just returned from the kitchen, having passed by Will and Alicia on her way back to Grace's room.

"Is you mom dating that guy out there?"

"No, why would you think that?"

"They just seem like more than just coworkers."

"They're not really coworkers. They work at different firms, but they went to law school together and were friends back then."

"Well, I think you're mom looked like she was flirting with him."

Grace started to look uncomfortable.

"What's wrong? You don't like the guy? He seems nice, and he's pretty good looking for a guy his age."

"No - I mean, he is a nice guy, from the little I know him, but my mom's married."

"Oh, right." Julia felt like such an idiot. "How could I forget. I'm really sorry, Grace. He's never here; I never met him; and I'm so used to seeing just your mom and my mom being a single mother that I think I just sort of think of your mom as being single."

The girls were both quiet for the next few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.

"Was it weird for you watching your mom date men other than your father?"

"Well, I never knew my dad, and as long as I could remember, my mother was dating one guy or another. I guess it just seemed normal to me."

"Sometimes I'm so surprised that my mom didn't divorce my dad after everything he did, and at the same time, it's really weird for me to think about my parents not being together."

"You think if your dad wins his appeal, everything will just go back to how it was?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if I would want that. I guess I just wish my dad hadn't messed up."

"Do you think your mom wants a divorce?"

"I think she wants to not think about it. As long as my dad's in jail, she can just put it off. At least that's what my Uncle Owen thinks."

"Your mom reminds me a lot of my mom, but I guess, in some ways, they're so different. My mom wouldn't think twice about breaking things off with a guy that cheated." Julia also thought a bit more. "Then again, she also probably wouldn't have ever gotten married either. Commitment wasn't really her thing."

* * *

 ** _Late afternoon/evening_**

Grace wanders over to where Will and Alicia are working. "Hey Mom, are you two ready for court yet?"

"Not yet." She looks up from her papers to smile at Grace. "Are you two ready for your history test?"

Grace rolls her eyes as she smiles back at her mother, "Not yet."

"You are studying in there, aren't you?" Alicia's feeling twinges of guilt that her being busy with her own work keeps her too busy to keep up and properly supervise/be available for her kids like she used to before…

"Of course we are."

"Good." She smiles once more at Grace and turns her head back to her papers.

"Can Julia stay for dinner?"

Alicia looks at her watch. "Wow, I didn't realize the time." She shifts her focus to Grace. "Sure, as long as it's all right with her uncle."

"Thanks, Mom." Grace disappeared back into her room.

"Will, I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to take a break."

In terms of where they were holding in their prep, it wasn't a great time for a break, but Will didn't want her to feel any guilt about taking care of her kids. He started to collect his things. "You can call later, whenever's good for you, to finish." He figured he'd just spend the rest of the night working at home and when she was available, he'd catch her up on what he'd done.

"You don't have to go. You can stay for dinner."

"I don't want to intrude."

"You're not intruding. I have a lasagna in the freezer, so it really won't take long to make dinner. Then we can get back to work."

* * *

It had been several months since the movie night that Will had joined in on. After his initial nervousness that night, he had felt very comfortable around Alicia's kids, and that's how it was again tonight. Plus, with Julia there, Will wasn't the only non-family member; although, from the looks of things, Julia had seemingly become like a part of the family. Zack voiced his appreciation for Will staying for dinner as that meant that he wouldn't, once again, be the only male at a table full of women. Julia was around a lot, which he didn't mind per se, but Zack was usually significantly out numbered. He liked having another male around.

Knowing Will and Alicia still had a lot of prep work left to do, the girls offered to clean up after dinner.

"Did you two finish studying?"

They looked at each other and then back at Alicia a bit sheepishly. "No."

"You two study."

Zack didn't have any school work for the evening, so he volunteered to do the dishes.

As Will and Alicia sat back down among their piles of notes.

"You have really great kids."

She took a moment to reflect and appreciate, smiling as she replied, "I do, don't I?"

Will couldn't help but smile back at her, her smile being infectious. Sometimes when he crossed paths with her, she seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, but just hanging around the dinner table with her kids, she was relaxed and seemingly happy. He liked her like this. Their eyes had found one another's, and for a moment, they were both lost in each other's gaze an awkwardness starting to seep through the air. He was painfully aware of the fact that she was married and her kids were just in the other room. He knew if not for those two factors, there would be little keeping him from closing the distance between them.

She knew she shouldn't be thinking or feeling what she was right at this moment, but it was hard to not when staring into his eyes. How many times had they been in this situation? How many times had she had to find the self-restraint to refrain from kissing him? But they were friends, and she'd always been afraid to cross that line with him. She had longed for him in law school, but her head had always told her it was a bad idea. Will Gardner wasn't a man of commitment, and she had known that if she'd given in to her feelings, it would have only resulted in hurt. If it wasn't for her pulse racing at the moment, she might have laughed at the irony of her fears about Will and her ultimate reality with Peter.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading.**


	7. Revalations

**A/N: I was debating posting or continuing to tweak. Posting obviously won, but I do feel it needs more tweaking.**

* * *

The following Sunday Will and Alicia were once again preparing for court in her living room. The first week had gone well, but opposing counsel had thrown them a curve ball Friday that they weren't expecting, so they had to put in more time to figure out how they were going to proceed.

Julia was there again also, and like the previous week Grace asked if Julia could stay for dinner, and Alicia invited Will to stay as well. The kids tried to get Will to tell them stories about their mother from college. Will tried to pick and chose his stories well; interesting enough for the kids while not too embarrassing for Alicia. Will asked Zach if he played any sports and was surprised to find out that Grace was the athlete in the family being on the girls' soccer team, and while Julia didn't play anything, she was a big baseball and basketball fan. Will was really surprised by her knowledge of teams, players, strategy, trivia.

After dinner, Will and Alicia get back to work. "Julia's here a lot?" Will asks.

"Yeah, she and Grace are really good friends." A few minutes later Alicia adds in a hushed tone, "She moved to Chicago just before the start of the school year from Phoenix."

Will wasn't sure why she was being so quiet, but whispering back, "So they're both the new girls in school."

"Yeah, that's one reason they became friends, they both didn't know anyone." They went back to reviewing notes. "Her mother died over the summer."

Will's puzzled.

"Julia, her mother died over the summer. She came to Chicago to live with her uncle. He's single, works full time, but he was the closest living relative. It was better than foster care, but now, especially during tax season - he's an accountant - he's not around much, so she spends a lot of time here."

Will noted, "So aside from both of them being the new girls, they've both also had some pretty traumatic family events in the past year." Alicia nodded in agreement. Will questioned, "Why's she with her uncle and not her father?"

"She doesn't have one. Apparently, her father was never in the picture. She's never met him. It seems like her mother never really knew exactly who the father was, or that's what she always told her brother."

Julia seemed like such a regular well-adjusted kid. Will would have never guessed from spending the past two Sundays with her that her life was anything but normal.

* * *

About an hour later, there's a knock at the door. Usually, Julia's uncle had waited in the car and sent Julia a text to come down. He'd texted her three times in ten minutes, and when she hadn't come, he'd parked and come up. Alicia answered the door and invited him in. He followed her to the room where she was working with Will, which she had to pass through on the way to Grace's room. Will looked up from his books when they walked in.

"Danny Dixon?"

"Will Gardner?"

"You two know each other?"

"Yeah, but it's been years." Then turning to Danny. "How long have you been in Chicago?"

"About a year; you?"

"Five." Then turning to Alicia. "His sister Katie was a paralegal at the firm I used to work at in Baltimore, and Danny was undergrad at Loyola." He turned his attention back to Danny, "Until both of you went to, where was it? Phoenix, right? You went for grad school and Katie followed you there."

Alicia left them and went to go let Julia know her uncle was there.

"So how's Katie? She's here in Chicago too?"

Danny looked somber. "Katie was diagnosed with cancer a little over a year ago." He took a breath to compose himself. It was still hard. Everything had happened so fast. She'd gotten diagnosed just after he'd relocated to Chicago, so he felt even worse having not been there. "She died this past summer."

"Hey Uncle Danny," Julia came bouncing over. "I'm really sorry for not coming down. I'd accidentally shut my phone off and didn't get your texts."

Will hadn't totally absorbed the news about his former coworker's death when he put the pieces together that Katie is/was Julia's mother.

Alicia noticed that Will's mind seems preoccupied the rest of the night, but then again, she would be too if she found out about someone, even someone she hadn't heard from in years, had passed away suddenly at a young age.

* * *

Wednesday, after they won their case, they went out for drinks. His mind still seemed elsewhere.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Something's going on with you, ever since Danny came by Sunday night and you found out about Katie."

Will was hesitant. Alicia didn't want to push.

"I - I think there's a pretty strong possibility that I might be Julia's father."

Alicia was not expecting that, and it took her a moment to gather her thoughts, but before she posed another question, Will continued.

"Katie and I dated for a short time before she moved to Phoenix. Based on Julia's birthdate, Katie was probably about a month when she moved. She probably didn't even know she was pregnant until she was already in Phoenix." He sipped his scotch. "We weren't officially exclusive, so it's very possible her father could be someone else, but it's' just as possible it's me."

As Will was talking to her, she looked at him, stared almost, and started noting how very strikingly similar his and Julia's eyes were and that they had the same hair color.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

Alicia did a double take. She didn't quite understand how he could do anything but try to find out definitively if he was her father or not. She supposed he was the same unable-to-commit playboy he had been in college, but she'd never thought of him as the type to not take responsibility. He hadn't been headed towards marriage and family back then, and he seemingly wasn't now either. Over the past six months, though, she felt that he had matured since college in that respect, but now she was second guessing that observation.

"Who says she'd even want anything to do with me. I don't know anything about being a father. One minute I'm thinking what if I say something and then results are negative? On the other hand, what if they're positive? I'm not sure what's more nerve wracking, finding out you're going to be the father of a soon-to-be-born baby or that you all of a sudden have a twelve-year-old daughter. Even if I am her father, maybe she's better off without me."

Alicia felt guilty for her thoughts. He wasn't trying to escape responsibility; he was nervous, scared, anxious. It was sort of cute watching the usually ever so confident Will Gardner appear anything but.

"Will, you'd be an excellent father." She could see he was full of self-doubt. "I've seen the way you are with my kids. I've seen the way you are with Julia. No one knows what they're doing when they become a parent for the first time. You figure it out as you go. You ask advice from others with more experience."

"And what if she's not interested?"

She put her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to really get his attention. He'd been avoiding eye contact, "Will, look at me. She'd be lucky to have you as a father. Believe me, you'll be an amazing father. I've always thought so."

 _ **Georgetown Spring 1994**_

" _Peter, Peter, Peter, that's all you ever talk about anymore," Owen complained. He'd never met Peter, but he already didn't like him._

" _You're just jealous because Kevin broke up with you last week."_

" _I'm not jealous, it's just from what you've told me about him, I don't see what's so great."_

" _Well, when you meet him, I'm sure you'll change your mind."_

 _Owen was doubtful. "So what ever happened with Mr. Georgetown? You never talk about him anymore."_

" _Nothing happened."_

" _I realize that. That's my point. Why not make something happen?" He couldn't figure out why his sister was dating this Peter guy and not Mr. Georgetown. The way she'd talked about him since day one, Owen had been convinced he was Alicia's Mr. Right._

 _Alicia thought. How could she explain this to Owen? Will was smart, good looking, funny, fun to be around, made her laugh, and he was clearly not one for commitment. It wasn't that he was unfaithful, he just didn't commit to begin with. She was scared to death to get involved with him assuming all she'd be left with was a broken heart. He was planning to backpack through Italy this summer after graduation, while Peter was already starting on his career and was interested in starting a family. He wanted to be a family man, and Will was a party man. If she had even the slightest indication that Will was interested in settling down that would be a different story, but that didn't seem to be the case._

" _There's nothing to talk about. I'm sure one day, if/when he's ready to settle down, he'll make a great father and husband, but I'm not waiting for something that might never happen."_

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

"So I guess I'll have to speak to Danny about consent for a paternity test as weird as that will be. Hey, I think I might be the guy who knocked up your sister."

"You wouldn't necessarily have to talk to him. I have power of attorney and could consent."

Will looked at her questioningly.

"Since Julia already spends a lot of time with us, Danny asked if he could give power of attorney to me in case of emergencies. He doesn't have any family nearby by, he's still relatively new in town, and I think he just felt more peace-of-mind knowing there was someone else who could help if needed." Even with Peter in prison, she had Owen; her mother, when she was in town; and for better or worse, there was Jackie. She couldn't imagine what it felt like to have the responsibility of children and be completely on your own.

"But this isn't an emergency."

"The language is vague." She took a sip of her drink. "Hey, give me a dollar."

"Why?"

"Just give me a dollar." He did as requested.

"Now, you're my client, and you just bought attorney-client privilege. So, either way, I could use the power-of-attorney or I could talk to Danny about consenting, while keeping your identity anonymous. It will be less awkward this way if the test comes back negative."

"Leesh...thank you."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

* * *

Two days later

"Julia, what?"

"Yeah, your mom has some client who thinks he might be my dad, so we're doing a paternity test."

"So when do you get the results back?"

"Wednesday."

"Are you excited?"  
"I don't know, Grace. I mean, I don't even know who he is or anything. It's sort of weird to think of meeting a complete stranger and he's your father."

"My mom really wouldn't tell you anything about him?"

"She said she can't, attorney-client privilege or something."

"Yeah, my mom doesn't break rules, so if she can't, she won't."

"I don't know that I want to meet him. I mean, where was he the past twelve years? Why did he skip out on me and my mom? I mean, even if they weren't going to get married or whatever, he could have been around."

"Maybe your mom didn't tell him?"

"Yeah, but don't you think if he really cared, he would have insisted on a paternity test back then and not waited until now?"

"I don't know. I think people are complicated. Like, sometimes I think, if my dad really loves my mom, why'd he sleep with hookers? So because he cheated on her, does that mean he doesn't love her?"

"Do you think he loves her?"

"I always thought he did, but now, I don't know. It just seems so complicated. My mom says that Owen all the time whenever he asks why she's not getting a divorce."

"Well, at least your parents supposedly were in love. I was probably just an accident from some one-night stand."

* * *

The following Wednesday, Alicia was sitting across from Will in his office to deliver the results of the paternity test.

"So are you going to open it?"

"As scared as I am about possibly being her father, I think I'm more scared that the test will be negative."

She wasn't used to seeing Will so insecure. She could tell he'd spent the week trying not to get his hopes up to avoid a potential big disappointment. She remembered the home pregnancy test she'd taken with Zach. Those few minutes had seemed like forever, and here Will had waited an entire week. And whereas pregnancy had taken her by surprise a bit earlier than she'd planned, this was something Will had apparently been longing for for some time.

"You open it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He got up pacing with his baseball in hand.

She opened the envelope, took out the papers and started trying to make sense of the medical terms. It wasn't as straightforward as Clearblue Easy to read the results. He was now standing behind her chair as she determined the meaning of the results. Since he was behind her, he couldn't see her face light up before she began to speak. "You're a match."

He didn't absorb it right away. He looked a little stunned, like he really had prepared himself that it wasn't true.

She stood up and turned to face him handing him the papers, "Your DNA matches. You're her father."

He took the papers from her, his features a mix of excitement, apprehension, hopefulness, disbelief. He looked through them and then turned to face her, a mix of happiness and shock, "I'm a father."

* * *

When Alicia got home, Julia was there as usual.

"Hi, girls."

"Hi, Ms. Florrick. You have the results?"

"Yes."

"So?"

"Maybe we should go in the other room."

"It's okay. Whatever it is I'll end up telling Grace anyway, so you can tell me whatever it is in front of her."

"Okay." She sat down with the girls. "The paternity test results are positive."

"So it's for real? This guy is my dad?"

"Yeah, and he's really interested in meeting you."

"So why isn't he here?"

"We decided that I would tell you, and let you decide if you're interested in meeting him. He doesn't want to pressure you."

"So, will I have to live with him?"

"Only if you want to, and obviously after you two have gotten a chance to know each other. You can stay with your Uncle Danny as long as you want and you for sure can have a say in how much your father will be a part of your life, but he really does want the chance to get to know you."

"So what can you tell me about him?"  
"Well, you actually have met him. Your father is Will Gardner, my friend who was here the past two Sundays."

"Really? He's pretty cool." She hadn't any clue what to expect and the anxiety had been growing. She really had thought Will was a nice guy. Hadn't crossed her mind that he could be her father. The whole thing felt a little less overwhelming now that she wasn't meeting someone totally out of the blue.

"So what do you want to do next? Do you need time to think about it?"

"So he wants me? I mean, he wants to be like father and daughter?"

"Yeah, he does."

"Would it be okay if he came over here?"

"Sure. I'll invite him to come for dinner."

* * *

Will arrived about a half an hour later. Zach was doing homework and Alicia asked Grace to help her in the kitchen, leaving Will and Julia to themselves. They were both a bit nervous and found it awkward.

"So I guess you knew my mom."

"Yeah. We worked at the same law firm in Baltimore for a few years before she moved to Phoenix. I knew your uncle also."

"So she never told you about me?"

"No. We didn't really stay in touch after she moved."

"Do you think she knew you were my father?"

"I don't know if she knew for sure or not."

"Are you mad at her for not telling you?"

"I didn't even really think about it that way. I don't know what her reasons were. She was probably already in Phoenix when she found out, and I was still in Baltimore. There could be so many reasons why she didn't say anything. I do think it was unfair, but there's no undoing or redoing the past."

A few minutes later Danny arrived. After dinner Alicia, Danny, and Will sat together to discuss legal and practical matters. For the time being, Danny would remain her primary guardian, Alicia would continue to have power of attorney, and Will and Julia would meet several times a week to get to know each other.

Danny liked Will. He hadn't always liked all of Katie's love interests or fling interests or one-night stand interests, so he was grateful that the man who turned out to be Julia's father was one that he liked. Everyone was concerned that Julia be comfortable with the arrangements and that shouldn't feel that anything is being forced on her.

Although, Will and Julia did spend time together one-on-one, they spent a lot of their time with Alicia, Zach, and Grace. It just sort of happened that way. Julia would go home after school with Grace. Will would come by after work to pick her up. Alicia would invite them to stay for dinner. By then, it would time for Will to drop Julia off at Danny's.

After tax season, Danny's scheduled lightened up, and he was leaving work earlier. In the meantime, Will and Julia's relationship had grown and they naturally were comfortable spending more time together. Julia's moving in with Will or him applying for custody still hadn't been discussed until early June when Danny found out he was up for a promotion that involved a transfer to the west coast, where coincidentally, a former long-term girlfriend from Phoenix had relocated six months ago. It was good for his career and it seemed like there was a very strong possibility that he and his former girlfriend, whom he felt like was the one-who-got-away, might rekindle their relationship. However, moving would seriously affect Julia.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Life's been super busy.**

 **Fall 2010**

Danny moved to the west coast, and Julia moved in with Will. Even though all parties were in agreement, Child Services were involved and there were hearings regarding Julia's best interests. Even though evidence seemed to verify that Will was her biological father, he wasn't listed on the birth certificate. Neither his nor Danny's life circumstances impressed the social workers; they were single and worked full time with demanding high-powered jobs. The fact that Will was her biological father didn't necessarily out weight the fact that Julia had known Danny her entire life being that he had been in Phoenix up until four or five months before her mother passed away.

It was in large part due to the fact that Julia had developed a relationship with Alicia and the fact that Alicia testified that Julia would continue to be able to return from school with Zach and Grace and could stay in their home until Will finished work that the court agreed to grant temporary custody to Will. It was decided by the court that this arrangement would be more suitable than going with Danny, where wasn't a child-care system yet put in place for the hours between when school ended and his work day finished. Even though Alicia was in a sense, currently a single parent herself, being that her brother was helping a lot, both grandmothers were local and willing to help, and the social workers felt that Grace and Zach were well adjusted, properly looked after, et cetera it was decided that this family atmosphere was good for Julia as well as not having to once again switch schools and start all over.

Will did have to make some adjustments like leaving the office earlier whenever possible and bringing work home instead of staying so late in the office and utilizing video conferencing during those hours when he needed to be meeting with partners or associates after hours.

He also had to cut back on dating, especially in terms of bringing women home or going home with them.

* * *

 **Thanksgiving Day**

Owen and Veronica were in the kitchen with Alicia, Zach was in the family room watching the game, and Grace was setting the dining room table.

"So, Alicia, Owen tells me we'll be having some additional guests."

"Yes, Mom, we will." She gives Owen a you're-in-trouble look because she's concerned what Owen's told their mother about Will and the fact that Owen conveniently forgot to tell her that their mother would be back in town for Thanksgiving until yesterday, which was well after she'd invited Will and Julia and Jackie, who was also coming because she always came every year, and she was the kids' grandmother regardless of the status of her and Peter's relationship.

All she knew at the moment was that she was glad there were many, many bottles of wine because she assumed she would need them.

"You know Alicia, Owen tells me that Will is one of Chicago's top bachelors."

"Really, he told you that?"

"He did. He also says you two spend a lot of time together."

"Our daughters are friends, and part of his custody arrangement involves my taking a certain amount of responsibility for Julia."

There was a knock at the door and Alicia gratefully escaped to answer it.

"Hi, come in."

"Hi. This is for you." Will handed her a bottle of wine and a box from The Cheesecake Factory. "Will, you didn't have to bring anything."

"And you didn't have to invite us."

Alicia took the wine and cheesecake to the kitchen. Julia and Will joined Zach and Grace in the living room. Veronica and Owen were still in the kitchen having subtly observed the exchange between Alicia and Will. When Alicia returned to the kitchen, Veronica inspected the wine and Owen the cheesecake.

"Chocolate Hazelnut Crunch, good choice."

"This guy's got good taste in wine."

Alicia rolled her eyes as she headed for her room to quickly change from the very casual clothes she had been wearing while she cooked into something more holiday appropriate.

There was another knock at the door. This time Veronica answered as Owen joined the others in the family room.

"Jackie, how nice to see you again."

"You too, Veronica. I didn't realize you would be here."

"I just got back yesterday."

By this point the two women had made their way to the family room.

"Grace, so this must be your friend Julia I've heard so much about."

"Yes, Grandma."

"And you must be her father, Will."

"Yes, nice to meet you Mrs. Florrick."

"Well, it's nice to see you're taking responsibility. Better late than never."

Veronica didn't appreciate Jackie's comment and cut in, "Julia, you know, Zach and Grace weren't planned either. In fact, Alicia and Peter weren't even married yet when Alicia got pregnant with Zach."

Owen started getting concerned with where his mother was going with the conversation. "You know, Mom, I don't think we need to talk about this."

"Owen, stop. They're not little kids. They can hear this."

"Well, at least my Peter took responsibility right away. He didn't wait twelve years."

"Some responsibility. He married Alicia and then cheated on her by sleeping with prostitutes numerous times. And for all we know, that might not even be the half of it."

"Mom!" Alicia had just walked in, and she didn't need her kids to overhear Jackie and Veronica.

Will never knew that the reason, or part of the reason, Alicia married Peter was because she was pregnant with Zach. He was also beginning to understand why Alicia seemed to always tense up at the mention of her mother or mother-in-law.

As long as neither Jackie nor Veronica were steering the conversation, the evening was quite pleasant. Whenever Jackie got the chance, she'd sneak in some snide remark meant to put down Will or make pointed remarks about Peter's imminent return to his family and home. Owen would try to cut off Veronica before she could respond with a biting retort of her own. Will also managed to jump in and change the subject on several occasions. Owen was further impressed, as if he wasn't already impressed enough with Will, at how well Will seemed to deal with Jackie's remarks.

Julia was a bothered by Jackie's subtle jabs at Alicia. She thought Alicia was so wonderful, she couldn't understand what Jackie had against her. She had wanted to say a thing or two Jackie, but she didn't want to hurt Grace's feelings by being rude to her grandmother or to embarrass her father, who she realized was being very courteous and biting his tongue. She wondered if Jackie had always been this way towards Alicia, and if so, how Alicia's managed to put up with her for so many years.

A while later Veronica and Alicia were alone in the kitchen between clearing the dinner dishes and preparing dessert.

"Alicia, I don't get you. You're letting your cheating scumbag husband move in here with you and the kids, assuming he wins the appeal, while you've got that man out there obviously interested in you. Have you seen the way he looks at you? Not to mention he's not bad looking himself."

"Mom, I'm married. Peter says he's sorry, and I owe it to the kids to give him a chance."

"Alicia, he had a chance, and he blew it."

"Mom, we're not talking about this. It's my decision, not yours."

"Just think about one thing; who do you want to see when you come home? Who do you want to see when you wake up? Who do you want to spend your life with? Just think about that."

Veronica kept her mouth shut the rest of the evening on anything related to Peter, but she kept her eyes wide open to the way Will and Alicia interacted with each other and the way Will looked at Alicia. She couldn't understand how Alicia didn't see it or why she was ignoring it.

* * *

Sunday Alicia, Veronica, and the kids went to the Skating Ribbon at Maggie Park. They were just finishing putting their skates on and heading for the ice.

"Hey, Grace?"

"Julia. Hey, I thought you said you didn't know how to skate?"

"I don't - well, I didn't. It's my first time. We've been here an hour or something already. My dad says I learned pretty fast, plus there's a rail. It's really fun."

"Yeah, I told you."

The two girls automatically went off together. At the Ribbon, there's a rule, no more than two people skating together. Veronica, quick on the uptake asked Zach to go with her leaving Alicia and Will as the only two left.

"Did we just get ditched by our kids?"

"I think we did. Don't worry, it happens, especially with teenagers."

"Do you come here often?"

"We used to come more when the kids were younger. We haven't been for a while, and then my mother just got it into her head this morning that she wanted to go skating."

At one point they stopped to watch the sunset behind the Chicago skyline. She had been having such a great afternoon that she'd been fully in the moment and not thinking about _life._ Now, that were sitting, quietly watching the view, random thoughts floated through her mind, including thoughts about the next day's trial and Peter's possible return home.

Will noticed Alicia's demeanor change from carefree to troubled.

"Hey, you okay?"

She realized she'd let her mind wander and pushed her unwelcomed thoughts to the side, "Yeah."

"Worried about tomorrow?"

How did he always seem to know what she was thinking? "Yeah."

Will wasn't particularly looking forward to Peter's release, but he wanted Alicia to be happy, he wanted Zach and Grace to be happy. If Alicia wanted to work things out with Peter, then that's what he wanted.

She had turned to face him when she answered, and now she was once again looking at the setting sun, watching as sky grew dim. She felt safe. She didn't feel the need to quell her uncomfortable thoughts, but free to voice them.

"It's not that I want Peter to have to stay in prison, but I wasn't expecting him to get released so soon."

"So, you're not ready for him to come home, but you feel guilty for preferring he'd be there longer.

She sighed, "Yeah."

She'd seemed so strong and so sure just a few days ago on Thanksgiving. He realized she had such a strong ability to be able to act whatever part she felt she needed to. When she wanted the world to see a brave face, she could wear one, convincingly. But now, he could see her guard was down. He could see she felt vulnerable and uncertain.

"You don't have to feel guilty for not feeling happy or excited about his possibly getting released tomorrow. You're allowed to feel however you want."

"I know." She was looking down at her hands, particularly the band on her left ring finger. Will reached over placing his hand on hers. "It's going to be okay, Leesh. You're going to be okay."

She looked up at him, care and concern in his eyes. He sounded so reassuring. It gave her a feeling of calmness, even though she still felt there were rough seas ahead, like he was like her anchor in the storm.

"Mom!"

"Dad!"

The moment was gone as Grace and Julia skated over to them. At the snap of finger, Alicia had her brave face back on, no trace of vulnerability visible. The girls stopped to talk with them for a few minutes, long enough for Will to give them money to buy hot chocolates at a nearby snack bar.

Just after they skated off, Zach and Veronica spotted them. Shortly after, they left, but not before kids convinced the adults that everyone should go out dinner at a favorite pizza parlor, which the Florricks and often frequented after an afternoon of skating. Throughout the evening, Veronica couldn't help herself from thinking what a shame it was that Will and Alicia and the three kids weren't all going home together, but she didn't say a word of it to Alicia. It had all been said already, and she knew she was the last person who would ever get Alicia to change her mind about something.

* * *

That night, Alicia was unable to fall asleep. Monday morning Alicia was to be in court for Peter's trial. The Wednesday before the Judge had adjourned saying he'd be rendering a decision Monday. Alicia and Peter had agreed to try to repair their relationship. From Alicia's perspective, it was mostly for the sake of the kids and wanting to spare them what she and Owen went through after their parents' divorce.

Her mother's words kept echoing through her mind as she looked over at the empty space next to her in bed. For over a year that spot had been empty. At first, it had been strange to her to sleep alone. Not necessarily to go to sleep alone. Peter had had many, many late nights. She looked around the room at _their_ furniture. It was all the same furnishings as their bedroom in Highland Park, but this was _her_ room. When she looked at the picture of the two of them on her dresser, she felt like she was looking at two other people. She remembered the day it was taken. She remembered feeling happy. She remembered being in love. She didn't feel that anymore. She didn't feel excitement at the thought of him coming home tomorrow. She felt ambivalent. She even felt a bit resentful she realized. She had created this new life, a life she realized she was happy with, a life that didn't include Peter.

* * *

First thing Monday morning Alicia went to visit Peter before court.

"I want a divorce."

"What?"

"I want a divorce."

"But I'm coming home today?"

"No. You're hopefully getting released today, but you're not coming to my home."

"Our home."

"No, my home. Our home was sold to pay your legal expenses."

"Alicia, I thought we agreed we were going to work on this - on us? What happened?"

"What happened is I can't - I don't want to. I can't go back as if nothing ever happened."

"Why now?"

"I've done a lot of soul searching the past few days. At first, everything was just such a shock, and then you were sentenced to ten years, and I felt I had time. I didn't need to make any decisions about us, and I needed to focus on taking care of the kids, the legal expenses, finding a job. Now that my life, the kids' lives are more settled, and your being released is more imminent, I've needed to and felt ready to think about and make decisions about us."

Peter was quiet for a few moments.

"Is this about Will?"

""What?"

"You're sleeping with him, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Mother's told me about how much time he spends at the apartment, how he was at Thanksgiving dinner."

"Then I'm sure your mother's also told you how close Grace and Julia are, which is the main reason Will is around. It's because of the girls. Not to mention that I'm involved in the custody arrangement."

"Yes, but the custody arrangement doesn't include Julia and Will staying for dinner, coming over on the weekends, or including them in our family Thanksgiving dinner."

"He's my friend. That's what friends do, Peter, they help each other, they spend time together. When someone's alone, you invite them to join your family for holidays.

I haven't once even come close to breaking my wedding vows with him or any other man for the last twenty years. You on the other hand, banged hookers eighteen times, sometimes two at a time, and you accuse my wanting a divorce to be because I'm having an affair? This is twisted Peter. Repentance or not, I can't stay in this marriage. You crossed a line, and there's no going back."

"And you think this is best for the kids? What about them?"

"I think they're doing fine and will continue to do fine. If they could adjust as well as they have to your being in prison, then they could certainly adjust to our continuing to live separately with you out of prison. And, I think Zach and Grace will also learn a valuable lesson that there are red lines that cannot be crossed, and crossing them has consequences. I would never want Grace to stay in a marriage with a man, who cheated on her, nor would I want Zach to think that as a husband, he can cheat while his wife turns a blind eye. So yes, I'm thinking about the kids, and more I think about them, the only choice I can live with is for us to divorce."

Peter was silent. He knew it wasn't fair of him to have accused her of cheating on him, the pot calling the kettle black, but that didn't do anything to ease the fierce sense of jealousy he had been harboring for months towards Will Gardner.

He also realized, it was inevitable that they would divorce, but the timing was not good for his career. The news of his release and acquittal would be marred by the news of the divorce.

"Depending on how the public and media respond to my release, I may run in the coming election for State's Attorney. Can we at least hold off on the divorce? If it becomes public now, the media will focus on that instead of the fact that I'm innocent of the corruption charges."

She knew he was right about the media, and she also knew it would have a negative impact on his public image. He had been a good State's Attorney, and as angry and hurt as she was, she wasn't out for revenge. The divorce wasn't about hurting him.

"Okay, Peter. We can wait to make it official. But you're not moving into the apartment, and I'm not going to pretend for the media that we've reconciled. We share two wonderful, amazing children. For their sake, I want us to be able to be civil with one another, married or not. So for that reason, I'm willing to postpone, but I'm not putting on a show either."

"I'm not asking you to. I just want a chance to make a positive impression on the public and media before attention gets focused on the divorce."


	9. Resolution

**A/N: I think 9 months to update must be a record. If anyone's still interested in this story,** **I'll try not to let so much time go by before the next chapter.**

* * *

Late Winter 2011

It was another normal night. Sometimes, Alicia got so wrapped up in the normalcy, she would forget that this wasn't the house in Highland Park, and that Peter wasn't the man that she had once thought he were.

Since he'd been out of prison, he'd been spending time with the children, which had gradually without any specific intention become time with the family.

Around 7:30 Julia's phone buzzed. That was her signal that Will was down in the car waiting for her. After the first two or three times that he'd come up to pick up Julia that Peter had answered the door, he prefered to wait for her in the car. He couldn't understand why Alicia wanted to reconcile with Peter, but Will felt it wasn't his business to interfere. She was a married woman. With all the many, many women he'd been involved with, he'd never gotten involved with a married woman. He wasn't going to be one to break up a marriage, ruin a family. Not that Peter hadn't already done that, but that was between Peter and Alicia now just like it was back in law school and all the years in between. If she ever decided to divorce him, then that would be a different story, but as long as she was married, she was off limits.

"Hey, Dad." Julia greated Will as she got in the car.

"Hey, Jules. Good day?" She seemed in a good mood.

"Yeah, and you?"

"Not bad."

After a few minutes of silently riding together. "How come you don't come up anymore?"

"Things are busy right now. Court, new clients. We're a bit short staffed. I've just got more work." He noticed she looked a little down. "Everything okay?"

"I just miss the way things were before…"

"Before what?"

"Before Mr. Florrick came back."

Will hesitated to respond, and then Julia continued. "I mean, I know he's Grace's dad and all, but I don't know, I just don't like him. He just seems so phony. I guess, it's a politician thing. Everything seems so normal after school, but once he shows up later on, everything feels different, even Alicia seems different when he's around, and not in a good way."

Will didn't really want to comment too much about Peter, but now he was concerned once she mentioned Alicia. If things weren't good between Alicia and Julia, he'd make other arrangements for her for after school. What, he wasn't sure, but he didn't want to Julia to stay in a situation that wasn't good for her. "If things aren't going well between you and Alicia, I could make you other arrangements for after school."

"No, I'm still okay with going there. Alicia's great. We're good."

"You just said she's different."

"She just doesn't seem like herself when he's around."

Every time Will buzzed Julia's phone instead of knocking on the door, Alicia would feel a sense of loss. Her mind would inevitably float to the many, many nights that it was Will here with her and the kids and not Peter. And that's when she would remember with full force that this was not the house in Highland Park and Peter was no onger the man she wanted to be sharing her life with.

* * *

Peter was doing relatively well in the polls and seemed to have a good shot at being re-elected State's Attorney if he ran in the next election. Since his name currently had more of a positive versus negative connotation, Louis Canning wanted to use that to his advantage. Alicia had been a bottom-of-the-totem pole associate, and he hadn't gone out of his way to advertise that the recently disgraced state's attorney's wife was working at his firm, but now that Peter was on a comeback, Canning felt it would be advantageous to promote Alicia as well as make it more known that she was an employee at his firm. When he secured a table at the Chicago Bar Association's Annual Dinner Gala, he made sure to factor in that two seats would go to Alicia and Peter.

Since Alicia wasn't going to tell Canning about the divorce, or anyone else at this point, so she had little wiggle room to get herself out of attending with Peter.

She hated these things. She hated that she was being invited because of Peter. She hated that she'd have to attend with Peter.

She debated a lot about what to wear, more than usual. She wanted to look good. She did not want Peter to think she was trying to impress him or for him to get any wrong ideas. She was restarting her career. She was making an appearance as herself, for herself, not, as far as she was concerned, as Peter Florrick's wife.

It was a formal affair. In the past, she had often chosen red. Peter would always comment how much he liked that color on her. Red was out, as were other looks that she generally chose to coordinate with Peter's preferences.

Tonight was black lace with a high neckline, long, tailored fit through the bodice and hips, and then flared out to an A-line cut for the bottom and a plunging backline. Elegant, dignified, refined combined with a little provocative.

Her hair was down, not up, again in contrast to Peter's preferences. It worked better with the dress. Her hair was currently just past her shoulders. She didn't want to overly highlight the backlessness of her dress. It would be her first time in the limelight other than press conferences and trials. She did not want to look dowdy. She wanted to make the impression she wanted to make. She doubted anyone would pick up on her color and style choices, but to her, her differing look left her feeling less like she was appearing as Peter's wife, even if she technically was appearing as Peter's wife. She felt like a different person now then she did on all of those previous occasions, and she felt, at least for herself, it was important to look different.

As she was putting on her finishing touches of makeup, her phone buzzed. Peter's driver was waiting downstairs for her. She quickly sent a text that she would be down in five minutes. She quickly gathered her things, put on her coat, and headed for the elevator.

Peter greeted her and quickly noticed her deviation from her usual hairstyle choices for such events.

"Your hair's down."

"It is."

"You usually wear it up for these type of events."

"I decided it was time for a change."

Peter wondered who she was changing for. He couldn't help it. Being with her and the kids together like things had been in the past had made him regret even more than he already had, his infidelity. Plus, something about Alicia had seemingly changed, and he found himself falling in love with her all over again. He hadn't voiced any of this to Alicia, but he was hoping that if things continued in the "right" direction, that she may realize that she can move past his transgressions and they could have a second chance.

When they arrived at the Gala, Peter helped her take her coat off, and as he did, he noticed the backline. The dress fit her perfectly in all the right places, and it had been about two years since he'd seen this much of her bare skin. He noted it was a marked difference in style and color from the dresses she normally wore, but this was...well, it was having an effect on Peter that Alicia had not intended.

As they walked in and began to mingle, Will spotted her from across the room. He knew she'd be there, how could he not when Grace was sleeping over with Julia, supervised by his sister Aubrey, who was in town visiting. (Zach was with one of his friends for the night. Even though they were teens already, Alicia preferred, that they not stay alone considering she'd likely be out very, very late. Even though she generally frowned on weeknight sleepovers, Owen had other plans, her mother was out of town, and really, they were too old for a babysitter.)

Alicia hadn't discussed it with Will, but she knew he'd be there as well. Aside from being a named partner at one of Chicago's largest firms, their daughters were best friends. She knew it was wrong and that she shouldn't have been thinking it, but she was thinking of him when she was preparing for the Gala. Even now that she was here, a little voice in the back of her mind that she tried unsuccessfully to quiet kept wondering where he was and what he would think of her in this dress.

The Lockhart/Gardner and Canning tables were on opposite sides of the room, so their paths hadn't crossed as shortly after Peter and Alicia arrived it was time to be seated for the opening speech.

At some point into the evening, Alicia felt the need for a drink stronger than the wine and champagne on the table, but was hesitant to ask the waiter to bring her something for all of her coworkers and Peter to witness.

She excused herself from the table and made her way to the bar, where she asked for a shot of tequila.

Someone came up next to her, "I did not know you drank tequila?"

She turned to face him. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Life's been busy."

The bartender brought her the tequila and he asked for a scotch.

"Thanks for letting Grace sleepover."

"Don't thank me. Thank Aubrey."

"How long is she here for?"

"I don't know. A few weeks. I don't think she knows either."

"Well, Julia's crazy about her."

"Yeah, she's crazy about Jules too."

There was a live band, which shifted into a new song, all instrumental.

"Wait, wait, is it...it is, the song from that movie...second year…"

"The Bodyguard?" Alicia answered. He remembered. How could he not. She watched that movie way too many times.

"How many times did you watch that?"

"Too many. It wasn't such a great movie either, was it?"

"No, but you didn't seem to notice."  
She thought back, laughing a bit at herself. "No, I guess, I didn't.

He finished his scotch, and not really thinking much about it, he asked, "May I have this dance?"

Equally, not thinking much (or overthinking rather) she accepted, "Sure."

From his seat at Canning's table, Peter noticed the two familiar figures waltzing across the room as his stomach tightened in knots. Ever the polished politician, he appeared calm, cool, and collected. No one would have suspected the rage he felt within as he watched Will put his arm around Alicia. He watched as they danced. He watched as Will whispered something in her ear. He watched as she laughed in response. He noticed how she looked happy.

"So where's your date?"

"My date?"

"Yeah, your date. You didn't come alone did you?"

"Actually, I did."

"Will Gardner going stag?"

"Life's been busy. Didn't have time to think about who to invite." Partial truth, partial lie.

"I didn't think you had to put in much effort to get a date."

"Is that so?"

"It is as I recall."

"Eh, women like me until they get to know the real me."

"The real you?" She raises a inquisitive brow.

"Yeah."

"Which is? Oh, come on. Spill it."

"Uncontrolled bladder syndrome."

She burst into laughter.

Eli was also at the gala and approached Peter, feathers ruffled.

"Peter."

"Yes, Eli."

"What is your wife doing?"

"She appears to be dancing."

"Yes, I can see that, and so can everyone else here. I've already gotten a text from a low-life tabloid writer to comment on this picture. Do you see this?" He showed Peter his phone with the picture of Will and Alicia dancing, which must have been taken moments earlier, sent to his phone with the caption, "Wife of disgraced state's attorney with one of Chicago's top bachelors."

"They're old friends, Eli. Just tell whoever it is that they're old friends. Friends dance, they laugh."

As the next song began, Diane tapped Will on the shoulder. She had some business matters to discuss with him.

"May I cut in?"

Alicia departed and left the two partners to their business.

"Well, you two looked cozy."

"Diane, we're friends. That's all."

"A friend who's married to a high-profile man." She raised a concerned brow. She knew Will, and she was concerned after watching them dancing together. She'd seen them together many times in court or at Lockhart/Gardner's offices. She knew Alicia was helping him with Julia, and she never suspected they were anything but business acquaintances/friends, but now, she was beginning to suspect there was more beneath the surface.

"Diane, I'm dancing with you, and you're also married." Diane switched to the business she'd actually intended to discuss with him when she cut in.

Alicia made her way back to Canning's table.

"Good evening, Eli."

"Alicia, what are you doing?"

Peter cut in, "Eli, enough."  
"Peter, this kind of thing can ruin your campaign."

"What 'thing' are we talking about?"

"Your dancing with Will Gardner. The tabloids already have pictures."

"Eli, that's what people do at a Gala, they dance."

Not wanting to be part of Eli's hysteria over any and everything, Alicia found her seat at the table. Peter joined her, and Eli went off to do damage control.

Speaking quietly and to one another veiled behind smiles and you-never-know-when-the-camera-is-looking facial expressions:

"You two did look rather, _friendly_."

"Well, Peter, maybe that's because we're friends."

"It looked like more than that."

"Peter, I was dancing, in public with a friend. I've done nothing wrong, which is more than you can say."  
"Alicia, that has nothing to do with" -

"The hell it doesn't. It has everything to do with - you know what, we're not going to get into this now."

He realized she was right. They shouldn't be discussing this now.

The tension between her and Peter continued to grow, especially after Canning commented on the dynamic between Will and Alicia as opposing counsel as well as how well they work as a team and joked how he's always a little worried Lockhart/Gardner will steal her away.

Near the end of the evening, Alicia excused herself to the ladies room.

Peter was waiting for her a little down the hall closer to the men's room intending to suggest they leave when she exited.

While he was waiting, Will exited from the men's room and walked past Peter on his way back into the ballroom.

"Will."

"Peter."

"We're still married."  
"Do you have a point?"

"Stay away from her."

"I have been."

"Ha, you call that spectacle on the dance floor staying away?"

"Spectacle? That was dancing, no different than anyone else here tonight."

"Don't think I don't know what you're up to. All that time you were spending with Alicia and the kids while I was in prison. Well, guess, what, I'm back now, and you're not going to -

"Whoa, Peter, I don't know what you think was going on, but it was nothing like you're making it out to be."

"And you expect me to believe that?"

"I really don't care what you believe. I know the truth. Alicia knows the truth. What you do or don't believe is your problem."

"No, you're my problem. You know, the tabloids already have pictures of you two dancing together and working up story to go with them."

"Well, sooner or later, they'll realize it's not true because it's not, unlike the stories reported about you two years ago."

"Not everything was true."

"Enough of it was."

"I've repented."  
"Ha, like a leopard changes his spots. You haven't changed one bit since law school. You were cheating on her back then and probably ever since. Meanwhile, she's been nothing but completely faithful to you, but you suspect her of cheating nonetheless."

"I don't suspect her. I suspect you. You were were pining over her in law school, and you still are. And your reputation with women hasn't changed much since then either."

"I don't sleep with married women, Peter."

"Just as long as you don't forget that."

"Maybe those words are better directed at yourself. I may have avoided commitment, but I never pretended to be committed when I never really was. You played the role of the guy who wants a relationship, when you wanted to have your cake and eat it too. Whenever you were out without Alicia, interesting how you were always with some other woman, and ever since I've been in Chicago, interesting rumors I've heard about you and various staff at the state's attorney's office. The only difference is you were never actually caught with any of them the way you were with the prostitutes."

"Well, if I'm so horrible, and you're so righteous, why is it that you've never said anything to Alicia, tried to save her from me?"

"Because she was in love with you. I didn't want to be the one to ruin that when there was no way to prove it. Now, that at least some indiscretions of yours have been been proved, if she wants you, that's her choice. You certainly don't deserve her."

"And you do?"

"Will, there you are. I've been looking for you." Diane came walking towards the two. Will took the opportunity to end his encounter with Peter. "Have a good night, Peter" He headed off with Diane, and then after a few steps, he turned took a few step or two back in Peter's direction and added. "Have you ever heard the saying, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be. You're holding on tight Peter. If she's truly yours, you wouldn't be so afraid of letting go a little."

When Alicia had exited the ladies room, she had seen Peter stop Will. She had stood around the corner so they wouldn't see her, while she overheard the entire conversation.

She waited a minute, continuing to fidget with her phone, which she had been doing to give appearance she had been involved in texting or emailing, before heading towards Peter.

When he saw her walking over, "Hey, I was thinking of calling it a night. Are you ready to leave?"

She was, in more ways than one.

* * *

She had difficulty falling asleep. She couldn't believe Peter had had the gaul to suggest that he come up when his driver drove up in front of her building. He knew both kids were out. What was he thinking? She knew what he must have been thinking, but she didn't understand how he could have thought _that_ would happen. And after everything else that had happened that evening, even if he still didn't know she'd overheard his conversation or confrontation with Will. She was still fuming. She didn't know what angered her more, that Peter insinuated there was anything illicit going on between her and Will or that when Will brought up his supposed past infidelities, he did nothing to try to deny it. Had he really been fooling her since law school?

She wasn't going to wallow. She'd spent many months in a very miserable state when the scandal first broke, she wasn't going back there. She was done crying. She was done feeling like a fool who, while clearly half of Chicago knew her husband was cheating on her, sat at home keeping his dinner warm, stupidly accepting his excuses of having a lot of work to finish up before he could come home. She was done with Peter.


	10. Moving On

**Once again, an extremely belated update. It's short, but seemed like a good breaking point, unless it were to be who knows how much longer before updating. To anyone still following, sorry for the gaps in updating. I know it makes it harder to follow when it's so long in between updates. I started this chapter in May, but then life has been really, really busy, but then this week, I felt the need to get this chapter written. I make no promises how long it will be before the next chapter, and I hope you'll still be around to read it.**

 **As always, let me know what you think. :)**

* * *

 **The following week. Late Winter 2011.**

He walked through the halls of Canning & Associates with purpose in his stride, right past the receptionist, who almost attempted to stop him but realized she probably didn't stand a chance, and straight to Alicia's office, where she was seated at her desk with case folders open busily reading when a folder slammed down on to her desk accompanied by a "What the hell is this?"

She continued with her files, barely acknowledging his presence, which likely only added fuel to his fire, "They're divorce papers." She stated the obvious, which he clearly already knew. She closed one file and went to the file cabinet to return it to its place and retrieve a different folder.

"You really didn't have to come all the way down her. Your lawyer can deal directly with my lawyer." She looked at him as she turned from the filing cabinet, then sat back down at her desk and resumed working.

Realizing he was still there. "If there are any details you want to negotiate, have your lawyer contact my lawyer. Otherwise, you could just sign it, if you haven't already done so, and go."

"Alicia, I thought we had an agreement...the election."

She put down the pen she was holding in her left hand, took off her reading glasses and put both on top of the stack of folders covering her desk and looked at him. "You're doing well in the polls, Peter. I'm sure Eli can spin this to your advantage."

"When we first discussed this, you were more than willing to wait until after the election. What changed? Why now?"

Alicia weighed her response. She was at work, and this was already likely causing speculation among her coworkers. She didn't want to create a scene, and if Peter wanted to do well in the polls, it didn't behove him to make a scene, particularly regarding the divorce, either.

Her response was too slow in coming, so he continued on in the meantime. "This is about Will Gardner isn't it?"

"This again? Really, Peter, you really believe _I'm_ cheating? That's the only possible reason I could possibly want a divorce?" She kept the decibel down, but her tone and body language conveyed she was fuming.

"Or maybe you haven't done anything yet, but after a divorce, you'd have a clear conscious to act on what you've been thinking about every day since the two of you became reacquainted," he hissed.

"Or maybe this has to do with your not being able to keep your pants zipped, ever since we were at Georgetown. The hookers, the office assistants, the assistant state's attorneys, the investigators, and does it even stop there, Peter? What about the cleaning lady, the babysitters? I'm sure there some over the years that were over 18, or does that even matter to you?

"I'm done Peter. I'm done with the lies and the secrets. I'm done being Chicago's biggest fool. How many of your female colleagues that I've met over the years at banquets, at galas, at the office, had you screwed? And I got to play the part of the dimwit housewife, who hadn't a clue.

"Well, guess what Peter, now, I have a clue, and it's over. And if you want to continue to do well in the polls, I suggest you keep this amicable, and not just for your image, but for the sake of our children. You can sign it as is, or if there's anything in there you don't agree with, your lawyer can speak to my lawyer to negotiate any points you feel necessary to change."

In the meantime, Louis Canning was across the hall and noticed Peter in Alicia's office. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but their body language conveyed this wasn't the standard, husband drops by to wish his wife good morning. He liked Alicia. He didn't particularly like Peter. He didn't like Peter for a lot of reasons. One, Louis Canning couldn't understand how a man could cheat on his wife. Not that Louis didn't cheat, in the general sense of the word. There were so many varied ways to find loopholes. He didn't do anything that wasn't legal, even if it wasn't always nice. But Peter, he bent the rules a little too far, stretched the lines a little too thin, and he crossed what Louis Canning considered an unpassable red line when cheated on his wife.

He admired Alicia, and maybe even had a crush to a certain extent. But there were lines one just doesn't cross. He loved his wife. He loved his kids. He couldn't ever imagine causing them the shame and embarrassment, let alone public shame and embarrassment, Peter had caused his family. And now that he'd met Alicia and gotten to know her, as far as a professional relationship, his general dislike for Peter became more personal.

Knock, knock. "Alicia - oh, hi, Mr. Florrick."

'Mr. Canning."

The tension was palpable. Louis wasn't sure if Alicia needed an out, but he decided to provide her with one nonetheless. If they wanted or needed to continue their conversation, they could do it outside of the office.

"Sorry to interrupt. Alicia, I need to meet with you about the Dollings case." It wasn't a total lie. He did have something to discuss with her, but it could have waited until later.

"Sure." Louis walked fully into the room making it clear the meeting would be in Alicia's office.

Peter wasn't finished yet, but Alicia was at work, and Louis was her boss. If this had been Peter's turf, he could have blown off the interruption, but it wasn't. He started to walk out the door "Peter", he turned, "Your forgot this." The divorce papers were held in her outstretched arm. He took a step back and took them from her.

Louis shut the door behind Peter as Alicia walked back around to the other side of her desk. She sat in her chair, while Louis sat in the chair opposite her.

"Everything all right, Alicia?"

"Yeah", she straightened her files, "fine." The-fake-it-for-the-cameras smile made its appearance on her face. She looked for the Dollings folder in the stack on her desk.

Louis didn't want to pry, but he didn't buy her response.

Alicia didn't want to share, but she had a hunch that Louis hadn't really needed to talk to her about the Dollings case right at that moment. Either way, she was glad Peter was gone, there hadn't been too much of a scene, and that she could just get back to work. And more than that, she hoped he'd just sign the papers so that she could move on with her life.

* * *

The following week Will had a deposition at Canning's firm. He hadn't seen Alicia since the night of the gala dinner. It wasn't unusual that their paths didn't cross. There were a lot of lawyers and a lot of courthouses in Chicago. Whereas they had been seeing each other almost daily prior to Peter's release, now that he was out, it could easily be weeks at a time in between meetings.

When he got to the conference room, he was surprised to see Alicia.

"Hey," he greeted her with a smile.

"Hi," curt, she looked up from her notes and then back down.

He was 10 minutes early, "I've got a depo at 3."

"I know. Brian asked me to fill in for him. He got held up at court."

She continued to review her associate's notes. On the one hand, it seemed natural that having just been asked to step in, she'd be catching up on the case. On the other hand, she seemed more distant towards him than normal. Considering he'd been prepared for Brian as opposing counsel and not Alicia, he decided if she wasn't talkative, it was to his advantage to go over his notes as well.

After the depo, he attempted to initiate conversation, and again felt like he was being rebuffed, and his earlier excuse for her behavior was no longer relevant. She headed back to her office and he to the elevator. He waited, it came, he got in, and then just as the doors were closing, he opened them, got out, and strode over to her office.

She didn't look happy to see him. He wasn't imagining it. He didn't understand it. And he didn't like it.

"Is everything okay?"

She continued to be curt. "Yeah, fine."

He came in the office and closed the door behind him.

She felt like she was living a rerun of last week, but Will was nowhere near as angry as Peter had been.

He was firm, not angry, not begging, just to the point. "No, something is not fine."

She didn't want to be having this conversation. She really wasn't fine, at least where it concerned Will. They worked at different firms, he usually didn't come up to get Julia, so she hadn't needed to specifically avoid him in order to avoid him, and now he was in her office and was unavoidable. She was going to keep it together. They were at the office, and she really, really, really did not want anyone to see how vulnerable she felt, not even Will.

She continued to sit. It was easier to keep her composure.

"You knew." She looked him in the eye without a trace weakness.

His puzzlement was clear on his expression.

"You knew he was cheating, and you never told me."

Realization of what she was talking about began to sink in. "Alicia…

"Don't." She stood, walked around her desk to the side he was on. She wasn't sure how it was that she was keeping it together when she felt like she was shattering into a million pieces. She had practiced over and over how to keep her pain hidden.

"I heard you and Peter at the gala. Over 15 years, Will. For over 15 years, he was screwing around behind my back, and you knew. You knew, and you didn't tell me." She couldn't keep it up any longer. She left her office and headed for the restroom. She could only stay in there but so long and hoped he'd be gone by the time she got back to her office.

She couldn't afford herself the luxury of crying, anyone - well, any of the female staff, could walk in any minute. She shut herself in a stall and took a few minutes to compose herself before returning to her office. He was gone. There was a paper, from the stack of stationary she had on her desk, folded in half with her name on the side facing up. She picked it up and read, "I'm sorry. I never knew if it was true. Back at Georgetown, you seemed so happy with him. I didn't want to ruin that for you. By the time I moved to Chicago and began hearing rumors, I hoped that they weren't true, and honestly didn't know what was the "right" thing to do. It wasn't just the two of you anymore, there was Zack and Grace who would be affected as well. Knowing what we know now, maybe I would have or should have said something. I'm sorry."

He had wanted to say more, but there wasn't really much to say. If she'd overheard him and Peter, then she already heard him say that he never had any proof, just rumors. As much as she's upset he didn't tell her, she wouldn't have necessarily wanted to hear it at the time. There's no going back and no way to know that any alternative would have turned out any better. He hoped that with time, she'd accept that.

* * *

Canning decided to keep Alicia on that case, so not long after, she found herself in court opposite Will. It was awkward. It was uncomfortable, but they were both professional.

After several court dates, the judge set some parameters and gave them a week to attempt to work out a settlement.

Friday evening Will went to pick up Julia as usual, well, a little later than usual. It was well after seven by the time he pulled up in front of Alicia's building. Julia didn't answer his text. He tried calling, and the call went straight to voicemail. He could have texted Alicia or Grace, but he decided he'd just go up and knock.

Alicia answers. It's been a few weeks since the gala. She's had a lot of time to think. She's come to the conclusion that she's been overly unfair to Will. He wasn't the one who cheated. She's concluded that she honestly doesn't know how she would have reacted to the news, whether he would have said something at Georgetown or after he moved to Chicago. He hadn't been trying to cover for Peter. He honestly just did what he thought was best. If only she had had more time after the gala before running into him. That day of the depo, she just wasn't ready yet. She hadn't had enough time to sort out her feelings and move past the initial feelings of hurt and betrayal.

"Will"...

"I'm just here to get Julia. Her phone went straight to voicemail."

"They're not here." He looked confused. "They're at Kelly's. Julia said she called you about the birthday sleepover party." After a few seconds, he recalled the rushed conversation from a few hours earlier. He'd been extremely busy at the time and hadn't fully paid attention. She probably could have asked for a million dollars or a sports car, and he would have said yes.  
"Yes, she did. Sorry for disturbing you."

He turned towards the elevator. She hated to see him leave. She missed...what they had...whatever it was that they had, she missed it. She missed him.

"Well, now, that you're already here, do you want to come in; we could work on the settlement."

He thought he recognized the friendly tone in her voice that he hadn't heard in weeks. He didn't want to push, but he'd follow her lead.

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose."

"I'm sure. You're not imposing."

"I'll go down to my car and get my briefcase."

"You can let yourself in when you come back up."

He came in. She was in the kitchen, large glass of red wine in hand. "Will, I'm sorry about that day in my office."

"Alicia, you don't owe me any apology. If anything, I owe you one."

"No, you don't. I realize it was a very difficult position for you to be in. I honestly, can't even say it was wrong not to tell me. I don't know how I would have reacted, or if it would have changed anything."

He started to say something.

"No, Will, please, don't say anything. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry for the way I've treated you recently, and I hope that you'll forgive me."

"I do."

"Good. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

They stood there, facing each other across the island, the tension growing, when Alicia broke the silence. Putting her glass down, she headed for the other room, "So, the settlement."

"Yeah, the settlement." He followed her to the family room, where they began negotiations.

It was around nine o'clock when Alicia realized she hadn't eaten dinner. She'd been debating what to order, pizza or Chinese, when Will had knocked. She was guessing Will hadn't eaten either. "Did you eat dinner before you came here?"

"No. I figured after I got Julia, we'd pick up some sort of take out on the way home."

"You must be starving by now." He was, but he so wrapped up being with her that he hadn't noticed until she mentioned something.

"Yeah, I guess, I am. You?"

"Pizza or Chinese? I've got numbers for both on the fridge."

"Neither. Let's go out."

"We haven't come to an agreement yet on this settlement, and we've only got until Tuesday."

"Alicia, when was the last time you went out? Not to some Bar Association gala or took your kids ice skating. The last time you took off from being a lawyer, took off from being a parent? Grace is at a sleepover, Zach is with Peter, it's Friday night, and I've decided, we're going out."

Admittedly, she hadn't been out, taken a vacation, or done anything for herself since before Peter's scandal broke. It was tempting.

"I've got court all day Monday. When are we going to work on this settlement, or do you really prefer a trial?"

"We'll make time tomorrow or Sunday. I'm sure Grace and Julia will hate that they'll have to spend a few hours together, while we work on this, but they'll just have to suffer through it. Oh, wait a second. When they're busy with their What'sApp and Snapchat and Facebook, they don't even remember their parents exist, so they probably won't even notice if we spent the whole weekend on this."

She suppressed a laugh, but the corners of her mouth turned up as she agreed their teenagers probably were too busy with their respective social lives to care if their parents worked through the entire weekend, and that going out sounded like a good idea.


	11. Confessions

**I hope you're not disappointed that I'm updating after two weeks and not six or more months. If you're surprised, so am I. I thought you all might prefer a shorter chapter with a shorter wait, so as with the last chapter, even though there's more I wanted to add in, I decided to leave that for anther chapter and get you an update sooner rather than later.**

* * *

 **Early Spring 2011**

They went to a restaurant on Chicago's Riverwalk, which had an amazing view of the river, the lights from the city reflecting in the peaceful, rippling water.

The atmosphere was peaceful and relaxed. They talked about everything and nothing. They both felt so comfortable around the other. There was never any effort, any awkwardness. Towards the end of their meal, Alicia's phone rings. She sees on the caller ID that it's Eli. She accepts the inevitable, that she'll have to talk to him sooner or later and decides to just get it over now.

Will is only privy to Alicia's end of the conversation.

"Hello, Eli."

"No."

"Eli, we've talked about this before."

"I'm not going to be there and neither are the kids."

"You're the brilliant publicist / campaign manager. You'll figure something out."

"Goodbye, Eli."

Will insisted on paying, and after they left, he casually asked, "What was that about, with Eli?"

She'd told the kids, obviously, as well as their mothers and Owen, but that was it. It was one of Chicago's best kept secrets for the past few weeks.

"There's a press conference Sunday that Eli wants me to attend. I've already told him several times that I won't be there, but you know Eli. He doesn't take no for an answer."

"So do you think he'll persuade you in the end?"

She took a deep breath looking out at the river, "No, not this time."

As she stood watching the water, he wondered what she was thinking. He could see the wheels turning.

She broker her trance and turned to face him. "Want to go for a walk?"

The weather in Chicago this time of year is still pretty chilly at night, but it wasn't freezing. Clearly, the cold must not be bothering her, or she wouldn't have suggested staying outdoors. He was happy to be anywhere if it were with her. "Sure."

She did find the air a bit too cold for her liking, but she appreciated feeling cold. If she felt cold, then she didn't feel numb. She'd spent too much time the past two years feeling numb.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. His curiosity to know what was going on in that mind of hers continued to grow.

She appreciated that Will didn't pry. She was reflecting on that now. The whole time she'd known him, he'd never been one to push her for answers the way so many other people in her life did. He let her be. He didn't poke, prod, over analyze her every move.

"Peter has a press conference Sunday." She hesitated, thoughtful, taking a deep breath. "He's announcing the divorce."

He was struck speechless. He really had no clue what to say. He was trying to read her for clues how she felt about it. He'd resigned himself to what had seemed to be a reconciliation between Alicia and Peter. To hear now that they were getting a divorce was completely out of left field. When the scandal broke, a year ago, even six months ago, it would have come as no surprise, but now…

"How are Zach and Grace handling it?" Finally a thought that managed to travel from his mind to his mouth.

"Good. Really good. At this point, I think they knew it was coming eventually. It's sort of easier that it's actually happening versus the uncertainty of if, when."

"And what about you, how are you handling it?" This is what she loved about talking to Will. He didn't tell her what she _should_ do or what she _should_ think.

"I want to move on. I want to move past all of the horrible feelings. I just want it to be over. After the press conference, the media will likely be all over it for a while, but once that dies down, I want to be able to be able to go on with my life. The marriage ended a long time ago.

"Leesh, I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"That you didn't get your happily ever after."

They stopped and were seated on a bench in a queit spot. They weren't particularly close to any of the restaurants, and not very many people were taking a stroll in the cold. She kept her gaze on the water as she continued.

"I only married Peter because I was pregnant with Zach."

For the second time this evening, Will was rendered speechless. "I mean, I wasn't pregnant when he first proposed. At that time, I said yes, but I was having, I don't know if it was cold feet or genuine second thoughts. Then, while I was still being wishy washy about what I wanted to do, I found out I was expecting. I was six weeks; the wedding was scheduled for the end of summer. I was mortified to walk down the aisle 20-something weeks pregnant, so we rescheduled and had the wedding at the end of May, before I started to show.

Will's mind is working double time. He's listening to her and remembering that timeframe at the same time.

"I thought you moved the date because Crozier, Abrams, and Abbott offered you the option of starting in June versus September."

"That's what we told everyone. The only person who knew the real reason, aside from Peter, was my father, at least initially."

* * *

 _ **Spring 1994**_

 _All sobs and sniffles, he can barely make out what she's saying. But he's patient. He doesn't push. He doesn't prod. He gives her her space, let's her take her time._

" _I'm pregnant." More sobs and sniffles. "What am I going to do?"_

" _Who's the father?"_

 _She rolled her eyes through her tears. Wasn't it obvious? "Peter. Who else?"_

" _Well, then what are you so upset about? You two are getting married in a few months."_

 _What was she so upset about? Because now the commitment felt more real. She really was going to be marrying Peter, even though she was in love with…._

 _When she was slow to respond, "Are you thinking of termina -_

" _Daddy, of course not." As much as she felt she was in the middle of a bad dream, shed never consider abortion. She got herself into this mess, she'd deal with the consequences. She'll do the most responsible thing, marry Peter as planned and start a family, earlier than expected._

" _But I'll be showing by the end of August. It will be so embarrassing."_

" _So move up the wedding. Graduation is in about a month. Reschedule the wedding for right after graduation."_

* * *

"So we told everyone we were scheduling the wedding around the start date of my new job, so we'd have time for a honeymoon as it would have been difficult to take vacation so soon after starting. My mother and Owen figured it out on their own."

* * *

 _ **Late Summer 1994**_

" _So how many weeks are you?"_

" _What?"_

" _You heard me, Alicia. How many weeks? You think your mother can't figure out you're pregnant?"_

 _It was twelve weeks since the wedding. She wanted to give any number less than twelve, but she knew, no matter how hard she'd tried to camouflage it, she was showing more than a woman in her first trimester._

" _Twenty-two."_

" _Well, I guess it's a good thing you moved up the wedding, or you would have had to alter your gown."_

 _She takes a deep breathe and suppresses the need to roll her eyes._

" _So is that why you married Peter, because you got knocked up?"_

 _Veronica had never liked Peter. Alicia was tired of having to defend him to her mother._

" _We got engaged before this happened."_

" _You know Alicia, it's the 90's. Women don't have to get married just because they're pregnant."  
_ " _I didn't get married because I'm pregnant."_

" _So you got married because you're in love?" She knew Alicia too well. She knew Alicia would always chose the responsible thing. She and Alicia were complete opposites. If Veronica took making herself happy to an extreme, Alicia took being responsible to an extreme._

* * *

 _ **Thanksgiving 1994**_

" _You didn't have to marry Peter just because you were pregnant?"_

" _Who told you that?"_

" _No one. I just put two and two together. Remember, I majored in math. So this is the real reason you're with Peter and not Mr. Georgetown?"_

 _What she told Owen last spring was true, and became even more obvious to her when she found out she was pregnant. Will was Mr. Party Man, Mr. Non-Commitment. He had spent the summer backpacking through Europe, while she was dealing with morning sickness. He'd started at a Baltimore firm when he got back, while she was working in Chicago. It wasn't going to work. And what she'd said about Peter was true also. He'd wanted to start a family. He was surprised to find out she was expecting, but marriage and family were part of his plan...and the image he wanted to create for himself._

* * *

Will's mind was spinning. Could it be that Alicia really hadn't been as in love with Peter as he had believed? If he had told her how he felt, would he have had a chance? Would he have wanted a relationship with a woman who was expecting another man's child? Well, once he was already in the land of, what if, if he'd had the courage, he could have said something before she'd gotten pregnant.

"So if you hadn't gotten pregnant, you wouldn't have gone through with the wedding?"

She was standing by the railing, looking out at the river as if the answer were to be found there.

"I don't know. I guess, there's no way to know what I would have done."

"I know what you mean...in a way. With Julia. I'd like to think that if Katie had told me, I would have moved to Phoenix or tried to convince her to move back to Baltimore. I don't know that we would have gotten married, but I could have been involved. I missed out on so much of her life. But I really don't know what I would have chosen to do at the time, especially since Katie seems to have wanted to raise her without me."

"Do you think you'd have been up for the commitment?"

"I think I would have stepped up and been responsible. I certainly wasn't thinking about about kids and raising a family at that stage in my life, but if it had happened, I would have taken responsibility. I wouldn't have abandoned my kid.

"I may have given the impression I wasn't interested in commitment; I just didn't have anything to commit to." _Because by the time I broke it off with Helena, you were with Dave. When things ended with Dave, I wanted to give you space. Your birthday was coming up in a few weeks, I wanted to plan something special, and then a week before, you met Peter._

"Or anyone you wanted to commit to."

"There was."

"What?"

"Someone I wanted to commit to." _It hurt. She wished it didn't, just like she wished it hadn't hurt at Georgetown every time she saw him with someone._

"So why didn't you?"

 _Because you were taken._ "I missed my chance."

"What do you mean?"

"I never told her how I felt, and then it was too late."

They stood there, quiet, each one's eyes focused on the other one. Each one reflecting on their own choices and how they might have chosen differently had they known at the time what they learned tonight.

She broke the silence first. It was hard hearing how he felt about some woman, but at the same time, she wanted him to be happy. She wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. "So how do you know it's too late?"

"She married someone else."

"So why didn't you tell her how you felt before she got married?"

"Because I was never in love before. I guess, I was intimidated by her, by how I felt."

"Will Gardner intimidated by a woman?" She raised her brow at him in disbelief. Mr. Cocky, Mr. Confident, Chicago's sixteenth most eligible bachelor?

"I'd dated a lot of girls, but it never really meant anything. With her, it meant something."

There was a considerably cold gust of wind that disrupted the moment. They agreed it was too cold and too late. Will drove her home and went up for his briefcase, which he'd left behind when they went out. They said they'd be in touch in the morning about meeting up to continue negotiations. And just like at Georgetown, they danced around the elephant in the room, each too insecure and uncertain to be the first one to tell the other how they really felt, convinced that the other one wouldn't want to be more than just friends.

* * *

 _You're such a chicken. What happened to all that carpe diem crap a few months ago? She's divorced Peter. She's single. And you're still just as insecure about telling her how you feel as you were back at law school._

 _Then an alternating voice in his head cut in, but she's probably vulnerable now. It's like you're taking advantage._

 _Then another voice, but if you wait, it could be just like after her break up with Dave. You missed your chance before another man came into the picture._

"Okay, so will be in touch in the morning...about the settlement."

"Yeah." _Say something._

She's wondering how she can stall this moment. Keep him here longer. She feels empty even before he's left. And it's not because no one else is home. She's spent the night in the apartment alone before, but she's realized, she feels empty without him. How can she ask him to stay without asking him to _stay_? She wanted him to _stay_ , but she also didn't want to be another notch on his bedpost. She wanted to be with him, and she wanted it to mean something.

She's walked him to the door. Both of their minds are racing, trying to come up with something to say to prolong the moment, battling between voices of their minds versus their hearts.

 _Alicia, you're being ridiculous. You never told him how you feel because you were afraid you'd get hurt. But you got hurt anyway, by someone else. How many more missed chances do you want?_

"Will."

"Yeah."

"I had a really nice time. Thank you."

"You're welcome." _Tell her how beautiful she is._ "I had a nice time also."

It's awkward and it's intense, all at the same time. _Just tell her!_ "We should do it again sometime." _For a guy who's usually so suave with the ladies, why was that sooo hard?_

"Yeah, I'd like that." _What does that mean? Is that like when friends go out for coffee, or does that mean like a date? I haven't been single in so long. This is weird. I'm over analyzing._

"Okay. So we'll talk tomorrow."

"Have a good night."

"You too."

He went out the door and headed towards the elevator. She was standing by the open door. When she heard the bing signaling the elevator had arrived, she closed the door and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As she was about to open her eyes and move into the apartment, she heard a knock. Checking quickly through the peephole before opening, she opened the door, "Forget something?"

Before he lost his nerve, he closed the distance between them and kissed her. She was caught off guard at first, but then she kissed him back. She didn't know what was coming next, but she knew she didn't want this to end.

Based on her reaction to the kiss, his fears about speaking his feelings were a little bit allayed. Between kisses, "It was you. The one who got away. It was you." Dozens, maybe hundreds of moments; moments of miscommunication; moments of misinterpreted thoughts, actions, and words; moments of bad timing flashed through her mind. Suddenly, they all held new meaning.

Coming up for air, he looked her in the eye, "I've loved you ever since our first year at Georgetown." _He'd said it. He'd finally said it. To get the words out hadn't been that back, but now that it was just hanging out there, it felt like an eternity waiting for a response. He wanted to know what she was thinking. If this was going to painful, hopefully, it would be quick._

This time she was the one to kiss him. Then, foreheads touching, she admits, "I was in love with you back then too...and I still am now."

* * *

 **In this chapter, there was a reference to Dave, who was previously mentioned in a flashback in an earlier chapter, I think 5.**

 **In the flashback with Owen, there was reference to another flashback that was from chapter 7.**

 **DISCLAIMER: The Riverwalk is a real place, but I've never been there and did very little research, so I avoided going into a lot of detail.**


	12. Reactions - Part I

**Continues from the previous chapter. For anyone who read chapter 11 and/or 12 prior to the time of this update, I took the first part of the original chapter 12 and added it to the end of chapter 11. The last part of that chapter 12 is being saved for the epilogue. So I am continuing, at least for a few more chapters.**

* * *

They continued kissing, and the temperature was rising. Neither one had expected the evening was going to go in this direction. Alicia knew that on the one hand, being newly divorced to a public figure, when that divorce wasn't even public knowledge yet, and having two teenage children, it was best to take any new potential relationship slowly. And on the other hand, she hadn't been intimate with a man for two years, and her attraction to Will was fierce.

Will had dreamt of this moment in many reincarnations for twenty years, but now that it was a reality, he didn't want to screw it up, a potential relationship, by jumping into bed too soon. And now that he was a father, he didn't want to take his daughter, who had been through so much in the past few years, on an emotional rollercoaster of bringing women in and out of her life. They hadn't even discussed what they were looking for, what a relationship would look like, and at this point, it seemed like they might not even make it to the bedroom before…

"I think we slow down."

"Hum?" She responded, but she wasn't slowing down, at least not yet.

"I think we should take things slow. Your divorce isn't public. We both have teenage kids who will be affected by...this."

She sighed. "I know."

"But?" He sensed a but.

"We're both parents to teenage children, who all happen to be sleeping elsewhere tonight. It doesn't happen often." By this point she had started kissing him again. "It's a shame to pass up the opportunity."

"Alicia, are you sure okay with this? It's not too soon?"

She looks him in the eye. "Twenty years, Will. I've known you twenty years. And even recently, the past year and a half, we've spent a lot of time together. It's not like we're drunk and just met at a bar."

He rested his forehead against hers. "I just don't want to mess anything up. I'm not looking to add another notch to my bedpost. I want something real. And we're representing opposing clients."

She let out a deflated sigh. "Conflict of interest."

"Exactly. We'll have to hammer out a settlement this weekend, or one of us will have to get switched off the case. And don't think I'll hand it over to anyone other Diane, if I'm the one backing out. I'm not letting just anyone take over against you."

She smiled. "Well, it looks like you won this argument, counselor."

* * *

The reconvened the next day. Alicia picked up Grace and Julia from the sleepover and took them both with her to Will's. After a pancake breakfast, which Will made, the girls headed off to Julia's room, and Alicia and Will headed to the living room to work on the settlement, confident that their added personal reasons for not wanting to go to trial would help motivate them to work towards a settlement both of their client's would be happy with. If not, Will would discuss with Diane and Alicia with Canning, a reassignment. If they were going to be in a relationship, then neither of them would have any direct involvement in a case involving the other's firm. At least as far as Will was concerned, that would be the case. As a partner, he could make those decisions. As for Alicia, Canning could still chose to put her on cases involving Lockhart/Gardner. Hopefully not, but it was not completely in Alicia's control what cases she got handed and which she could refuse.

The tension between them was think, but with the girls in the other room, they found the added self-control to remain professional...but there were hushed comments and looks and smiles and blushes.

After a few hours of working, they had reached an agreement then both felt confident their clients would approve of. They'd have to talk to their respective clients on Monday and hope that all would be agreed upon by the time they met with the judge on Tuesday.

They ordered pizza for themselves and the girls, after which, Grace and Alicia left.

Once they were gone, "What's up with you and Alicia?" Julia was smirking at him.

"What do you mean?"

Julia rolled her eyes in that way that only teenagers can do when their parents seem to be sooo clueless, "I mean when Grace and I went to get some snacks from the kitchen while you and Alicia were working and you had those puppy dog eyes and she was smiling and blushing."

Will was taking a moment to formulate his response.

"You like her don't you? I mean, it's been pretty obvious since the first time I met you at the Florricks', but something seems different now."

He was constantly amazed at how perceptive Julia was. He was convinced she'd make a great lawyer or PI. He wasn't so sure how he felt about those skills being used on him. He was still somewhat insecure with his parenting, and it made him feel a bit exposed that his daughter could read him so well.

"I think you're too smart for a fourteen-year-old."

"And I think you're stalling."

"Yes, I "like" Alicia. I have ever since law school. And yes, something has changed. I told her last night how I feel about her."

"So are you guys a thing now?"

"Well, we both admitted having feelings for each other, but she and Peter haven't yet publicly announced their divorce, so it's" -

"So it's official, they're getting a divorce?"

He then realized it was just last night that he found out about the divorce and that Julia didn't know. Alicia had told him only their immediate family, Eli, the lawyer knew.

"They kept it very quiet, but yes, they filed for divorce, it's finalized, and tomorrow night there's going to be a press conference where Peter's going to announce it."

"I thought something was going on with Grace lately, but she hasn't said anything."

"I'm sure Grace is having some difficulty, and she was told not to speak about it outside of the family, even with you, until it was announced publicly."

"Then how come you know about it?"

"I was with Alicia when she got a call from Eli about the press conference. I only heard her side of the conversation, but for whatever reason, she went ahead and told me what it was about. Otherwise, I probably still wouldn't know either."

"So you're waiting for the press conference, and then…"

"Well, yeah, and we're currently opposing counsel on a case that hopefully will wrap up on Tuesday. And there's you, Zach, and Grace, how each of you feel about it and not wanting to dump too much on any of you too soon. All three of you need stability after all the ups and downs you've had over the past few years. We want to take into consideration how us getting involved in a relationship will affect each of you."

"I think you and Alicia would make a great couple, Dad."

"And if it got serious, and I don't know what will or won't happen, but I want to talk this out, the various scenarios. If Alicia became a permanent figure in your life, not just because she's Grace's mother or has any legal connection to your until you're eighteen, but because she's my girlfriend, how would you feel about that?"

"Alicia's great. I really like her. She's already sort of like my second mom, even before I met you."

"And if things didn't work out with me and Alicia, and if our relationship would become contentious, which sometimes happens after break ups, what about that? It could, potentially, affect your relationship with Grace and/or with Alicia."

Julia got quiet. She withdrew into herself, which wasn't so in line with her generally personality, but Will had noticed it happened from time to time. She was looking down when she began speaking, "Is that what happened with you my mom, things became contentious after you broke up?" She now had lifted her had to look him in the eye.

They never spoke that much about Will and Katie's relationship. There had been a bond between them from the first time they met, even before they knew they were father and child, and since then, they had built on that, getting to know each other. Once they had, their relationship had been very natural, they connected with each other instinctively. Katie had filled in many details about her childhood. Will had, naturally, told her many things about his life. But that was one area that had just never been addressed in any great detail.

"No, there was never any contention. We never really broke up because we were never officially a couple."

"Did you love her?"

Will thought how to answer that question. He'd been with a lot of women in his life, many of whom he hadn't had been more than a notch on his bedpost, but there had been some he had genuinely cared about. Katie had been one of those. They had been friends for a few years before that brief period where benefits were added to the relationship.

"I cared about her very much. We were good friends, and for a brief period, more than just friends."

"But you weren't serious about her, about starting a family or anything?"

He noticed she went back into that reserved space. Julia was usually so charismatic and happy-go-lucky, it was easy to forget how much she'd been through. It was these rare moments when her vulnerability and fragility took center stage.

"Julia Marie Dixon Gardner, you listen to me," he put his finger under her chin to turn her head so their eyes met, "You may not have been planned, but you were not a mistake or an accident. I doubt your mother ever felt that way, and I certainly don't. Finding you has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish I could get back all of the lost years that I wasn't a part of your life. I don't know if I would have tried to convince your mother to stay in Baltimore, or if I would have followed her to Phoenix, if we would have tried at a more serious relationship or not, but one thing I can promise you is that if I had known about you, I would have been a part of your life, a consistent, regular part of your life.

"I don't know about any of the men that were in your mother's life from the time she moved to Phoenix until she died, how they treated her or how they felt about her, but I treated her right. I cared about her. If she would have wanted more from me, I would have given it to her."

Julia never having known Will or much about him throughout her years living with her mother was relieved to know that he clearly cared about her more than the many boyfriends she had had throughout Julia's life. From the very beginning, she'd liked Will more than any of the string of Katie's boyfriends that had been in out of her life, some taking more of a father-figure role than others. Really, for the most part, none of them had. Her Uncle Danny had been her one real father figure. Her parents may not have ever really been in love with each other and been planning to start a family, but they had cared about each other, and they both loved her. Her mother had never left room for doubt that she was wanted, even if she hadn't been planned.

A few tears began to pool in her eyes and her bottom lip started to quiver, "I miss Mom."

Will wrapped his arms around her, "I miss your mom too," and held her while she cried.


End file.
